What’s the problem? Are we deciding what black people can and can’t say now? Seems like it. smh.

We never deserved Tesla. But we need him now more than ever.

“Oh, I was unstoppable! The perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella, with just the right amount of grease on the joystick.”

Get outta town... *Squints*

I saw Pinchot in Courage Under Fire the other day. I was like, “did he audition? Or was somebody like, “you know who’d be great in this role?” and another guy going, “Bronson Pinchot?” and the first dude going, “...what number am I thinking of right now?”

What’s the matter, bro? You come home to find your penguin stepped out on ya?

I dub thee Buzz Killington. Arise, Sir Killington. Go forth and kill as many buzzes as thou can.

Read that comment in Sir David Attenborough’s voice. All the better.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I wanted him to win so bad.

And the Oscar for best pun in a comment forum goes to...

...BaconScotch!

Exactly. It would be a frankturder.

Poor people eat hot dogs that way. But I was thinking the same way. Spread like Nutella, or as a poop sausage on a bun?

Those cabinets are from the 80s too!

“Syzygy”?
Look, Maddie, if you don’t know the real word...

No, an unborn baby. Nobody cares once it’s born. And how would he do that you ask???

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the presses.

I saw Avatar baked out of my mind, in 3D, and still found nothing to enjoy about it. It was absolutely not a marvel, a waste of my one free movie pass that I got with my paycheck working at a movie theatre and a colossal waste of good weed.

I can’t take my eyes off those puny little legs.

At least you live on the other side of the planet. My country touches theirs.