“Oh, I was unstoppable! The perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella, with just the right amount of grease on the joystick.”

Get outta town... *Squints*

I saw Pinchot in Courage Under Fire the other day. I was like, “did he audition? Or was somebody like, “you know who’d be great in this role?” and another guy going, “Bronson Pinchot?” and the first dude going, “...what number am I thinking of right now?”

What’s the matter, bro? You come home to find your penguin stepped out on ya?

I dub thee Buzz Killington. Arise, Sir Killington. Go forth and kill as many buzzes as thou can.

Read that comment in Sir David Attenborough’s voice. All the better.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I wanted him to win so bad.

And the Oscar for best pun in a comment forum goes to...

...BaconScotch!

Exactly. It would be a frankturder.

Poor people eat hot dogs that way. But I was thinking the same way. Spread like Nutella, or as a poop sausage on a bun?

No, an unborn baby. Nobody cares once it’s born. And how would he do that you ask???

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the presses.

I can’t take my eyes off those puny little legs.

At least you live on the other side of the planet. My country touches theirs.

I expect them to remember Poise counts!

He’s definitely the Patrick Bateman of the Donald’s children.

It’s hip to be square! Dun, dun, duh, duh-duh-duh-dun!

TENAcious little fuckers, eh?

Canola oil makes a great lubricant.

*Squints*

*YAAAAAAAAAAAAWN*

Beg pardon.