I am so sorry! I can relate in (very small) part — my dad is a toxic, manipulative asshole and my mom, siblings, and I have long since cut him out of our lives but he also has progressive neurodegenerative disease. He is getting older and sicker and thinking about how to handle his death and whether or not I’ll regret…

You will regret the toxicity of introducing your children to someone who isn’t safe. They will learn that sneaky people who violate boundaries are okay with mommy and if something happens to them, that you will not have their back.

I think your primary obligation is to keep your children safe. Not everyone has a grandfather that is a safe person, and you are not causing your children harm by deciding that their grandfather will not be part of their lives. If you want the benefits that grandparents can provide, maybe making friends with elderly…

Don’t feel bad for the sake of your children: keeping your distance means keeping a shitty person out of their lives. No grandfather is way better than a shitty one.

If you can avoid him, do it.  Sooner or later your kids will know what he did and then your willingness to let him interact with them will make it seem that, on some level, you were okay with his behavior. No explanation will ever convince them more than your actions. You’re their parent and seeing you stand up for…

This is a tough one and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. I have no advice except maybe pivot a little on your statement that you worry you might be robbing your children of their grandfather. In truth your father robbed them of their grandfather with his despicable actions. You did nothing to deserve this. Good…

This hits close to home. My father (a former minor politician) was in prison 3 times (!!!) for the same thing. He says it’s an addiciton, his therapist says it’s an addicition, and my mom and 1 sister buy it hook, line and sinker.
My other sister and I haven’t had contact to him in years, but he’s trying to slink back…

GOOD. But I won’t be happy until Trump is there too.

My initial thought was since there was already a bit of flirting going on, he was just trying a cheesy pick up line on you. Sometimes while flirting people try to make a well-intended joke but they’re nervous or they don’t know the other person’s sense of humor, so it doesn’t work.

Well, great! What are our options? Strategically placed leaves?

Local manufacture plug: if you want similarly well-made shoes that are not made in a Chinese sweat shop, see if you can find Red Wing Shoes. They’re made at a factory in Red Wing, Minnesota. They’re *expensive*, but they’re good. My brother goes to their annual factory sale every year, where they sell factor seconds…

I took an expensive (relatively, given the product) pair of Reef leather flip flops to a cobbler/shoemaker to re-insole and re-sole and had to argue with him to get him to agree to do it. He just kept telling me to buy new shoes.

You could, if you feel he’s worth the effort, casually mention that his “free check up” line skeeved you out. His response to this (is he sorry and embarrassed, or hostile and defensive) should tell you a LOT about who he really is.

At least where I live (Florida), thrift stores are shitty. It’s all polyester crap from dead elderly retirees—they die and their kids bundle up all their clothes and dump them at Goodwill. There are literally no nice clothes that I would want to wear.

I’ve decided the only way is to have a more minimalist lifestyle, and it’s working out in so many unexpected ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally.

And raise your own sheep or grow your own cotton. Cause you know the cotton pickers don’t have any rights either.

I vote RUN in the opposite direction as fast as you can.

Gross. Stay away from that guy. Probably not a glowing red flag, but def. a cheesy boner killer and completely inappropriate coming from a coworker. Actually, he should have been able to read that you weren’t into his “joke”, yet he made up some excuse to ask for your number. He’s an entitled ass. Don’t go out with…

Honestly? This reads as both cheesy and a red flag to me. You said it made you uncomfortable, and your recap of the conversation has you very obviously steering away from his comments, and he just goes full steam ahead. So, you know do whatever you want, and I am basing this on one convo, but to me this doesn’t sound…

Even making your own clothes doesn’t really help. I used to work in a textile retailer and from what we were told, the conditions for people who make the fabric are pretty much the same.