I’m re-reading The Death and Life of Great American Cities right now, and I can’t help but think of people like her driving all the neighbors away from the sidewalks and stoops with her noise complains, then wondering why the neighborhood is so empty and dangerous seeming.

I’d be throwing down a spike strip and boarding that bastard with a cutlass and an eyepatch.

Surely anyone named Mackenzie who’s bought into a gentrifying [see: whitening] neighborhood has watched enough HGTV home improvement porn to know her problem would be solved with the installation of double-glazed windows.

Me too. Gawker is like the breeding ground for talented writers. There are some at the NYT, at least one at Vanity Fair, and also the New Yorker.

No, I’d be hungry for icecream.

It’s too fast for me to put my pants on

I actually hate the ice cream truck in my town, because it drives down my street full speed, playing the damn song, without stopping. I don’t know where it does stop, but ain’t anywhere near my house. So I’m stuck with Pavlovian desire for ice cream, and I can’t buy it.

If ‘Snuck a peekover the divider’ means ‘held it for Putin like he was told’ I totally agree.

You triggered me.

Now you are going to tell us he does not like to do it to country songs.

Former Gawker Editor and now NYT Op-Ed Contributor Erin Gloria Ryan had the best Spicey description: “None of [his replacements] could possibly convey the combination of chutzpah and shame Mr. Spicer embodied.”

But does he want to hold the president’s HAND?

True story, I dated a guy who lived down the street from the ice cream truck depot in the West Village. Around 5pm, every summer evening, they all roll out as an adorably coordinated sugar-fueled cheer army. The jingles were always delightful because even though they were loud, they just sound like happiness.

He’s gonna chew that boy up like a cheap gumball. It’ll be so christmaslike I might even bake cookies to watch it.

Mueller could literally kill Dump with a pen. A regular shitty 99 cent Bic.

My cats have their own room, One Fast Cat (a huge wheel to run one) five cat trees, four fountains, a toy BOX, organic catnip, multiple bird feeders at eye level out two different windows, window perches in two different rooms, harnesses and leashes...

My neighbors felt like that. Their cat got eaten by a coyote.

It’s actually much safer for both the cats and the local wildlife if cats are kept inside, and cats can live perfectly healthy and much longer lives if they are kept inside. Not only is the risk of a cat being injured or killed very high if they are outside (I see a dead cat that’s been run over almost weekly in my…

Bitch you betta WRITE 👏 THAT 👏 BOOK 👏! Sell those fuckers down the river! Get that revenge/redemption! Give all that nonsense some MEANING