Snake is good people.

She is grace and class come to life. I wish I could be half as awesome as she is when I grow up.

You ladies are doing a real public service, too... since I don’t see a lot of names anymore, but I know these dickcheesers didn’t stop posting their b.s. I only glimpse a few stragglers, occasionally getting a reply from a mouth breather. My Jezebel experience is überpositive, and I just wanted to say Thank You.

As long as no snakes are harmed - no need for innocent creatures to suffer, even for a great cause like inflicting severe, chronic gastric distress on such a deserving target.

Ah, the elusive Honda Scarab. Fuck I’d love to go clorform my 19 year old self and hide him in a closet until I was in my mid twenties. Until he was? You know what I mean.

I’m planning not to get out of bed on Inauguration Day.

Think you could work some arsenic in there too, or at least a bunch of fiberglass & steel wool? Please don’t waste any aged cheese on him, unless “Velveeta found in an abandoned meth lab” counts.
I would contribute toe cheese if it helps the cause. Heavy insulated work boots most days, a tendency towards sweaty feet…

Is it Bert & Ernie spit roasting Oscar the Grouch while Snuffulupagus cries and jerks off in the background?

My best friend looks like a blonde, slightly more muscled Chris Evans. He’s super shy so I love going out with him, cause during the inevitable approaches he gets I usually answer. ‘I’m sorry he’s quiet, he’s really only interested in furries dressed like Red Pandas and scale models of whale genitalia replicated in…

Khmer Yuge

Cartoon dog eyes?

Hey, at least, judging by how his face constantly looks, he won’t really accomplish anything cause he needs to rush to the nearest bathroom to violently evacuate his bowels. I should really put my culinary degree to use, apply to the White House, and find some way to incorporate copious amounts of ghost peppers and…

I too curse the anti-vaxxer parents who resurrect and spread infectious diseases, and therefore suffering and danger. It’s beyond irresponsible and they’re so damn smug and self-righteous.

Love it.

I’m definitely not watching. The next day is my birthday, and I’m thinking I’m going to be treating myself to another tattoo. It will be the last three words in this panel:

To be fair, no one matters. Nothing matters. The universe is nothing but a charade APPARENTLY.

“I am the only one who knows who the finalists are”

Eh, needs more Grumpy Cat.