Short answer: No. Long answer: Also, no.

Without question, white liberals are the most racist demographic in the US. You think Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, or your neighbor who drives Prius and STILL has a Bernie bumper sticker on his car is excited about the black family that just moved in next door?

Of course you’d say that. ‘Cause you’re a racist, bro! That’s the whole point of the article. If you’re white, you’re a racist. What’s it like?

I’m not sure what shocks me less: That Andy Reid is an NRA member, or that he’s hanging around a school bus full of kids.

This is all a total misunderstanding. He was just pumping his fist. If “rockets red glare” doesn’t get you fired up, you’ve lost all emotion.

Pffft. Fake news! If he’s from Minnesota, where’s his mullet?

2 minutes for hooking...Hooking us up with such a sweet comment!

Absolutely. A “fresh” imperial stout is almost always nasty.

And yet, Kaepernick is still unsigned. (Did I do that right?).

I just wish Deadspin would tell me how I’m supposed to feel on this one. I mean, he’s a good football player, which sucks for the game if he’s out for awhile. But also, he’s the whitest non-QB/kicker in the league, so I’m supposed to hate him, right?

So, after beating Dallas in the last few seconds of their last two games, the Packers are the Cowboys El Guapo at this point, right?

Two words: Mike McCarthy (does not trust Dom Capers shitty defense).

Thanks for writing this. Way too many people seem to think beer can be stuck in the fridge indefinitely and taste just fine since it doesn’t technically expire.

I think we’re gunna need a bigger boat.

Related: Can Jolie do “how to clean vomit of your keyboard” in the next Cleancast?

Goddamit. Why can’t these guys act like professional and stick to spor...nevermind.

I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic, but after I laughed at the ineptitude on the play, I did have to give Rivers credit for having the presence of mind to toss it. I mean, the safety was imminent at that point, and shoveling it out of bounds prevented a possible touchdown.

Because all children are beautiful gifts from God who bring joy to you each day. But God is also vengeful, so children are cruel animals sent to torment you with their fickle appetites.

You are a God damn national treasure.

So, it’s official, right? Nadal has transitioned to a toupee?