For Thanksgiving, I do all the prep work in advance (including putting uncooked potatoes for mashed in a pot of cold water and unheated greenbean casserole in the dish), put all the dishes in a central location with notes of cook times and duration, and pre-heat the oven to somewhere around the average of all dishes.…

Tip: The best item for pounding chicken breast and other cutlets is an empty wine bottle. Hold it by the neck, and pound the meat with the side. Far and away more effective than a mallet.

Was watching mens tennis clips from the early nineties, and modern tennis is way better. Epic points instead of the 3 shot “serve, poor return, winner”. Modern focus on return of serve has really improved the game.

Get a rope!

Milwaukee resident here. Can confirm.

With a score like that, I bet the stands were a real graveyard by the fourth quarter.

The rest of the statement released in part reads: “Oh, and loosing the rest of my hair”.

Following this promo, Raisin Bran tried to one-up Cheerios: Two scoops of live bees in every box.

Thanks. I totally wanted to throw up in my mouth tonight.

We got rid of HamNo at least on Deadspin, right? I haven’t seen any of his “articles” lately.

It’s like farting...funny no matter how many times it happens.

I like the explanation of wreckin’ hoes better!

Wish she would have posted this during work hours so I can read it while I deactivate my glutes.

Crap accidentally stole your earlier joke in an above comment. Star for you.

The pressure(cooker) really got to Adidas on this one...wait, can I try again?

Boobs are usually a good indicator.

Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?

My sentiments exactly. It’s like Trump jokes replaced “This!” as the go-to lazy-ass kinja comment. Christ.

It’s a different kind of flavortown. Where the daily special is always tossed salads.

I added the 75th star, which must mean Jalopnik has only 75 readers. Because how could you read this comment and not star it.