We lost him way too young, didn’t we? Was watching live solos of his last night, and that cat could wail!

Oddly enough, I’ve developed a taste for Milk and Honey Original Café Mix. Am I going to die soon?

Can we get official guidance from the Deadspin style guide on the appropriate usage of dinger/dong/donger? I’m very confused.

That’s like where 4 or 5 dudes simultaneously season the same pot of rice with soy sauce, right? 

Say it loud: I’m a middle-aged, dorky white dad, and I’m proud.

Sort of figured this would make an appearance. This must represent that 1% that he can not explain.

I’ll cut you in on the heist.

By jumping from a high bridge and killing yourself on impact on knocking yourself unconscious? Yeah.

Not sure why you think that. Was pretty much the exact thing with my father (minus the river...gunshot suicide).

Nah. If that were even a possibility, Jezebel would have run with a big blaring headline like “Black Muslim Judge Totally, 100%, Completely , and Undoubtedly Killed By Racist Conservative Because Conservatives Are Racist”.

Wow. This should totally be on the list!

I’m not in love with it. Too sweet for me, and I’ve had WAAAAAAAY to many destroyed bloody marys that were loaded with it.

Slightly related, correct opinion: Nato is disgusting.

So what you’re saying here is I should break into my local Trader Joe’s tonight, and steal all of the umami paste, right?

As an actual conservative, I really hope Breitbart writers unionize ASAP. It will hasten the demise of that disgusting, fake news, propagandist, alt-right cesspool. 

My wife had a “Dick Wolf” tramp stamp before we had kids. All of a sudden, it just says “No”.

Pause: The myth/theory/assumption is that women who live together have their periods at the same time, not that masses of women in the same city have a visit from the cardinal at the same time.

I don’t like Trump and this doesn’t make me happy. But something needed to be done, and this is an appropriate response.

I hate myself for this overused meme, but:

My game is often prolonged by rubbers as well.