I hate myself for finding this so funny. I know it’s too soon, but goddamn it’s good.

Great article.

This is a good comment.

And I can guarantee that if dude buys any of these cars, the next time his wife fucks him will be at the divorce settlement.

Wings Up! Don’t Shoot!

And how. Hell, The Turkey 100-proof is some of the best whiskey out there. Unpretentious, not too sweet, and with a nice burn. Bullet and Makers take a back seat.

Meh. You call that impressive? I beat off twice today. Where’s my Guinness?

Watch me drift around this tu-

My guess would be they were on at the time of impact (no way the right one was able to get in that position with the bird halfway through the windshield), but I prefer to believe it was an ill-advised attempt to clear the bird away.

Police originally believed the crime was spur of the moment until this was later found in the perpetrator’s nest:

Or Mark Davis’ barber.

Holy shit, I need to spend more time on Jalopnik versus other Gizmodo properties. I don’t like Trump, but this article fails to inform readers as to whether the interests are in mutual/index/ET funds, or if they are in individual stocks. No one should be expected to divest themselves of an S&P 500 index fund.

Jesus Christ. You are a disgusting slob, an a truly depraved person. Who in the drinks Squirt these days? Much less in such quantities as to require a two-liter?

Jesus, Redford, you’re really making a lot of work for us folks that don’t have shitty kettle takes:

Because polar bears. Or something.

These are...actually...not bad rules. Cannot believe I’m saying that.

Dude is either kidding, trolling, stupid, or trolling and stupid. But since the headline mentions bad laws and the graphic depicts laws to ban sanctuary cities or versus protect immigrants, not exactly an illogical jump if you’re familiar with the author’s posts.

Wow. I’m not in love with a lot of your takes, but this dude is either a doofus, joking, or really bad at trolling. My money is on the former and the latter, but the “just report the things I like” has me wondering. 

Her Silverado may only go 0-60 in 7.0 seconds, but I give her at least a 7.5.

Dessert covered, but now what should I do for dinner?