You can’t fix crazy or stupid, Mikey. Just sit back and let him fume his jealousy for being bad at life.

I like the cut of your jib, Carlos. I was only able to get through 2 “paragraphs” of his insane rant before I vomited on my keyboard. 

“i have been paying income tax before i was 9 and started working a full-time job along with school 24/7/365 since i was 9.”

I’ll answer it for him. This is fine. Other people are not entitled to your wealth or property, whether or not you “earned it”.

Just wait until you read his next post: “I make bad life choices, and now I write stupid socialist posts on a sports blog so I can’t afford the rent on that fancy big city apartment I want so bad, but somebody else should totally be forced to pay for it for me because I’m jealous”.

You’re awesome for making your own pasta, but egg whites only for breakfast?! That’s the best part.

Leave out the canned sauce entirely, add more tomatoes, swap the red for white (better flavor without the tannins, IMO), toss in a few spices, and then you’re on to something.

Well, I’m on a low carb diet, so I have a slightly different approach. I just skip the pasta altogether, and take a big swill of sauce right from the jar. Prefer mine room temperature. Mmmmmmm hmmmmmm!

Counterpoint: Nah.

Can we please fucking ban the “this” response. It’s not witty. It adds nothing to the conversation. It’s not “woke”. It’s cookie cutter crap.

For you, is there a lack of desire or performance issues? I had occasional issues with the latter, which resulted in the former. If so, see your doctor. Generic Viagra (sildenafil) is relatively cheap, and (I’ve found) extremely effective.  

The one on the left looks familiar, but I don’t remember there being any Asian guys in Smashmouth.

I played from when I was a kid all the way up through high school, then pretty much quite for like 15 years. Picked it back up again about three years ago, and so glad I did.

What??? This is totally practical. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in a situation where I need to blow bubbles at my cat, but I’ve lost my bubble wand. Problem finally solved.

What the fuck is this shit indeed.

Lifehack? More like Suckhack, AMIRITE?

Thanks, but I’ll stick to Funbag.

Goddamit, I love a good tennis point like this.

Not unfortunate that this is voluntary. There are tons of CPGs that have a really long shelf life, but taste best if eaten by a certain date.

My body gives me terrible, terrible advice. For instance, after 90 minutes of tennis, it made me eat a bag of pork rinds and 4 beers.