Anyone who doesn’t eat the skim bread deserves to celebrate Christmas in a toilet.

Upside: The excuse she gives her husband will actually be the truth for once.

Son of a bitch deserves to die. I will have no one come between me and my Popeye’s!

He’s retiring in phases. Hairline left the game last season.

Can I bring this joke home? I promise to feed it and walk it every day.

Agreed. This is crap. Total lack of sportsmanship. At the coach’s instigation no less. Paints the school in a lousy light, and sends a bad message to the players. Would like to see the school’s AD suspend him for a game.

Yeah, I do. I think refs can general tell the difference between intentionally spearing a player with a helmet and knocking heads when a DB can’t predict an RBs move perfectly.

Well, he is a millennial, so I wouldn’t put it past him.

Can we agree that the rule should read “as long as it is not intentionally above the neck area”? Otherwise, why not penalize players where their tackles result in an injury? Rules like these are supposed to prevent intentional nasty hits, not unintentional ones.

Just seems like the kind of hit that is best left as a no call. Both the original and the replay look like the guy had his arms out ready to tackle. It’s football, dudes get get.

This video is a metaphor for every fight I’ve ever had with my wife.

Wait, what? Neither of these dudes have half the cocky bullshit attitude that Newton does. Not defending their actions, mind you, but they’re both exhibit far better sportsmanship.

You’re not getting the stars you deserve. Fuck this guy. He’s cocky when he wins (or thinks he has a penalty), and a total bitch when he loses.

Watch the timing of the start of the slide with the start of the tackle motion. The contact looks and sounds bad, but it looks incidental to me.

You can’t throw the ball at the dude no matter what. He started the slide as the defensive player started the tackle. There was helmet contact, but his arms were out front in the attempt to wrap up Newton. Good no call if you ask me.

You can pretty much bet that the keg is full of Blue Light and not He’Brew.

Demolished it.

$1.39. I was going to drop it in the kettle outside, but saw RG3 begging for change right next to it, and figured he needed the money more.

False advertising.

This joke sucks. I’m in love.