I need to be friends with you. The last essay I wrote in college was about how opera offered the audience (who, during the earlier operas, would be drinking, eating, AND gambling while watching the opera) a way to imagine making terrible life decisions. I called it "opera logic" and used the word "escapism" a lot. And…

the fucking, whiskey, mozart and sodomy party will be at my place!

Every time I see this gif I'm reminded of the person who pointed out that her braid goes through her arm at some point. :( Ruined everything about this gif for me.

When Chainz appeared on Grace's show Tuesday night, it was not to fall in love—at first.

But the merchant was a very important person. He sold monogramed thermos clay jugs.

Oh Saks. No.

Teatime Machismo: Band name, yes or no?

fanfic.jezebel.com

What guinea pigs?

I have to assume that this doesn't apply to small, independent art films like Lesbian Spank Inferno.

I am strongly anti-spoiler, and yet I am strangely tempted. Let's compromise and tweet fake spoilers at her. SMAUG WAS A GIRL ALL ALONG. RADAGAST IS ACTUALLY SAURON. GRUMPY AND SLEEPY GET MURDERED BY DARK ELVES FROM KEEBLERWOOD.

"Every inch of this creation"?

At least it's not the original chivalric code, which was pretty much "Hey, knights, quit raping everybody, I keep getting angry barons demanding compensation."

Caramel Machete is now my stage name. Called it.

Omfg now I kind of want to get a cat just so I can name it Burlap.

In a world where being a makeup artist is outlawed. All outlaws will be makeup artists.

Aww! Chickens are the cutest little dinosaurs...when they don't squawk all damn day. I think the reason we started eating them in the first place was they're so fucking loud and annoying. Also, I've never felt bad for eating chicken or pork, because I've got family out in the sticks and I've seen some shit, like, some…

I adored Rosalind Russell's wardrobe in the movie " His Girl Friday".

I would buy one of those cloth bags that they probably sell in the grocery store and put it in my backpack. Before I went into the store, I would take out the bag and put my back back in it and carry it around. They don't have a problem with big open bags, then they should't have a problem with you carrying one.