Cool so with Evans cold-cocking dudes and Le'Veon Bell not knowing you can get a DUI when you hotbox your car, my fantasy team is looking awesome this year. If Andrew Luck wants to stab a kitten in the neck on live television that would really round things out nicely.

Remember that time we couldn't even finish our book discussion because Jeremy Lin kept clowning mother fuckers with a pie in the face?

That's such a great face he makes, too. Because we all have had a moment like that, where you're deep in the throes of rage and then the universe is like, "Actually you can't be angry for like the next 3.4 seconds because something is about to come rocketing at your head."

I honestly don't know what the fuck I meant by that.

Yeah but Charlize got dat Ocar, though. #blessed.

Masculinities Studies is a real and emerging field of sociological study, often building off of work in feminist and queer studies circles. It's different than Men's Studies, which is more or less an MRA-style response on behalf of people who think that feminism is some massive system of thought and behavior aimed at…

There's Ballmer, screaming at the kids to throw more alley-oops and giving them free Surface tablets they don't want.

Walking outside this morning and I saw a Red Wheelbarrow. Reminded me of the poem The Wasteland.

He was probably just embarrassed that he forgot to dress like a Nascar driver.

I'm anti-ESPN starfucking the daylight out rookies who have never played in a regular season NFL game. But I'm also pro-not giving a shit about baseball.

True story. They are just brutal.

Can't fucking wait for all the jokes that vaguely imply this isn't such a big deal because Mack works in porn. I'm sure they'll all be hilarious and not-at-all-depressing.

I think 2014 is more like the year that enough people have access to platforms in which they can speak about and document violence against women. It's always been there; it's just a symptom of patriarchy that you didn't hear about it nearly as much 10 or 20 years ago.

What does he do on a Sunday then? Just circle his block for hours, gunning the engine when the neighbor kids chase soccer balls into the street.

"This is offering up the dim, colorless notion that to have had ideas inflected by race, you must be overcome by some encompassing aura of racist determinism, that you could never find it in your big white heart to say some shit about Johnny Manziel, who is a fantastic shithead, on account of his whiteness."

Right?

Like Melville, I am misunderstood in my time.

And poor.

And I straight up harpooned a whale once.

Don't worry; I'm sure I'll still find some way to be talked into drafting him in the second round of my fantasy draft again.

What's the name of the move where I slowly stop masturbating after 5 minutes when my cat wanders in the room and makes direct eye contact with me?