Assuming you posted this specifically for me, Samer—thanks.

We don’t have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn’t rush. They’d be allowed to go at their own pace.

Yes’m?

Right? RIGHT?? The scene where he sticks that needle in the blown out vein? MOTHER FUCK.

“Hey my friends call me ChiliMac but you can just call me New Daddy.”

This was absolutely the play call. The Bulls have run that Pau to Butler alley oop play at least once a game for the last month.

+1 better response than original comment.

[Brain nearly explodes with dozens of not-funny Buffalo + Kane jokes]

Stoya, who is also a writer, was relatively silent about her break-up with Deen, which is believed to have occurred sometime in 2014.

-Okay, what kind of candy do you want, son?

-Ugggghhhhhh Skittles, dad. And get the big bag! I want to feel it in my face.

This is like when you’ve been telling everyone to come over to your house all day, but no one will give a firm yes.

What I’m saying is, Roger Goodell is going to end up renting a movie from Blockbuster with dad.

“Hello, Peyton? Yeah you can come but you gotta bring pizza and Mountain Dew, okay?? I borrowed an extra Xbox controller from my brother. ....no, he was a total dick about it.”

Peyton walks into Lucas Oil Stadium: Jim Irsay tosses him a bottle of pills and winks, Ryan Grigson rolls a syringe across the floor, then the three of them high five and that’s how the work day starts.

Steph’s the best player in the world right now. But honestly, I thought Jimmy Butler was the best player in the game last night.

“That and more of your favorites in The Top 50 Jokes from 2011—in stores now!”

Marc Trestman was kind of like an anthropomorphized, apologetic whisper that someone stuck a Bears hat on.

It was a weird two years here.

Kam Chancellor concedes and personally builds each team a new stadium.

Bears don’t really give a shit.

+1 to the best comment and screen name here.

They keep saying it’s a shoulder problem, but I think we all know the real issue. If they would just let Drew play in his relaxed fit Wranglers with the U-shaped crotch that’s scientifically designed not to ensnare your cock and balls I’m sure you’d see that completion percentage start to rise ;-)

Yes, absolutely. That’s exactly the neck and facial hair I was expecting from an NFL fan filming a fight outside of a Buffalo Wild Wings.