hankscorpioandtheglobexcorporation
The Hammock District
hankscorpioandtheglobexcorporation
Oct 11 2016
6

Assuming you posted this specifically for me, Samer—thanks.

We don’t have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn’t rush. They’d be allowed to go at their own pace.

Dec 31 2015
8

This was absolutely the play call. The Bulls have run that Pau to Butler alley oop play at least once a game for the last month.

Nov 22 2015
3

-Okay, what kind of candy do you want, son?

-Ugggghhhhhh Skittles, dad. And get the big bag! I want to feel it in my face.

Nov 22 2015
64

This is like when you’ve been telling everyone to come over to your house all day, but no one will give a firm yes.

What I’m saying is, Roger Goodell is going to end up renting a movie from Blockbuster with dad.

Nov 22 2015
44

“Hello, Peyton? Yeah you can come but you gotta bring pizza and Mountain Dew, okay?? I borrowed an extra Xbox controller from my brother. ....no, he was a total dick about it.”

Nov 22 2015
28

Peyton walks into Lucas Oil Stadium: Jim Irsay tosses him a bottle of pills and winks, Ryan Grigson rolls a syringe across the floor, then the three of them high five and that’s how the work day starts.

Nov 21 2015
20

Steph’s the best player in the world right now. But honestly, I thought Jimmy Butler was the best player in the game last night.

Oct 28 2015
139

Marc Trestman was kind of like an anthropomorphized, apologetic whisper that someone stuck a Bears hat on.

It was a weird two years here.

Sep 21 2015
39

They keep saying it’s a shoulder problem, but I think we all know the real issue. If they would just let Drew play in his relaxed fit Wranglers with the U-shaped crotch that’s scientifically designed not to ensnare your cock and balls I’m sure you’d see that completion percentage start to rise ;-)

Sep 21 2015
31

Yes, absolutely. That’s exactly the neck and facial hair I was expecting from an NFL fan filming a fight outside of a Buffalo Wild Wings.