I assume Wade will be using a good portion of that $60 million over 4 years to buy bionic knees.

I believe!

Redick supposedly had a contract with a former girlfriend that included an abortion clause if she got unexpectedly pregnant.

Nothing says dignity like abandoning your loved ones to crawl under the porch, evacuate your bowels and die alone, next to the goddamn soccer ball the kids thought they lost.

You can scan the bleachers of Wrigley during any inning - of any Cubs game - and find worse behavior than this. I guarantee that four seats away some guy waving a white and blue W flag was maturbating into his Oldstyle while humming a Dave Matthews Band song.

Which still would have been a better movie than "Pay It Forward."

I see......

....that Haley Joel Osment has changed.

Accurate in sentiment, if not fact.

Prayed to the Based God that Clint Dempsey's fucked up face would find glory.

That's really fascinating; a completely different cultural approach to a nation's disabled population. It's nice to hear such a progressive kind of policy.

You're saying my Brazilian prostitute would love to go to the soccer match with me?

Um, I use a wheelchair — am I missing out on half price tickets to things in South America? Because I'm not getting shit here in the US.

Except for all this parking. Hollaaaaa

I'm not defending anyone's honor. It's just painful to watch you so stupidly miss the point. And then have it explained to you. Twice. As you would to a child.

It was. That's what all these other comments ("whoosh," "five (and counting) snared") are acknowledging — that people like you are missing the god damn joke. Nice try, though.

Jesus. I can't anymore.

You're just getting trolled (beautifully, I might add). The original comment was sarcastic — and hilarious.

Head up, leads with his shoulder, and wraps up all the way to the ground. The NFL should show this badass at the rookie symposium.

Nobody responded and that's a shame, because I spit out my coffee at "Penetrating analysis, Habermas."

Can you show me the angle from the ceiling and then from the Dunkin Donuts parking lot security camera across the street?

You wouldn't like my system; too many self-conferred nicknames.