I have to admit, even knowing that many of you americans are fully vaccinated, hearing about someone hanging out in groups recently freaks me the hell out.

Allison, back once more doing the lord’s work.

Yes. Put this in my face. 

Why are those Jordan almonds in the header image wet?

Now to be fair my personal experience is with the iced tea, but I’ve found when I ask for “light ice” I get the same measured amount of tea concentrate and more water, making a weaker, much less satisfying drink.

Really thought that was Tom Hardy up top for a second and was excited for the film adaptation.

Might not have ended up an english major had lobster math been an option at my high school.

a basic brick is $57.10, while the higher-end black brick goes for $71.40

You better bring your own buns, ifyouknowwhatImean.

This may be a US vs. the rest of the world thing.

Based on my experience it might be! But I could go for a hot dog pre-flight.

Are . . . are hot dogs common airport food?

America, you okay?

No.

Don’t sleep on the IKEA mac and cheese, Dennis! It’s great!

This is reminding me that when we were kids Mom often served us “cheez whiz in the oven” which was white sandwich bread spread with a thick layer of, you guessed it, cheez whiz, and then broiled until it was dark brown and bubbly on top. It was really good? So I can kind of understand how this might be okay if you…

And, oh, I live alone, so I didn’t use a pound of bacon and eight eggs. This is a personalized breakfast bowl. The Garth’s Bachelor Bowl™. For the recently divorced.

Chickens, fine, but you’ll pry these itty bitty fuzzy ducklings from my cold, dead, hands. Or, well, my fever-ridden, diarrhea-having, stomach-cramping hands.

I am suddenly doubting America’s Test Kitchen has ever stored a mushroom for more than a day or two. 

Thanks for finding that video. I’m so jealous of people who can safely travel internationally right now I could spit.