Ah the en-shit-ification continues.

Really missed an opportunity to add beets to that last one.

What strikes me about the hot dog salad is how weirdly romantic it is.

The content here is free, man. What are you doing here?

A turkey sub should be hearty, filling, and—I mean this in the best way possible—forgettable. It’s not meant to be too wild or adventurous. It’s what you order for lunch when you don’t want to think about what to order for lunch.

I say this respectfully, but is there not a single woman who works at Gizmodo? Not a single Barbie Dream Home? Really?

I mean if the point is having “fluffy meat” (which . . . no) then you have to get them in the store to see it, and I’m not convinced fresh sliced subway meat is going to lure anyone in. As everyone else says, Subway is cheap, consistent, somewhat healthy fast food, not artisanal fine food.

I am 100% picturing these folks being served the greasy, $2 slices in the incredibly flimsy brown paper bags we used to get after a night out at the bars.

I am all about salt and vinegar chips, and I would pour malt vinegar all over most things at Red Lobster, but this coating sounds terrible to me for some reason.

Truly, and I mean this sincerely, give a raise to the person who came up with making marshmallow-flavored marshmallow treats, re: the Rice Crispy Treats and S’mores flavors.

Listen, I love a protein snack, but my resistance to these is mostly my brain going “yeah, no, we could make that at home, and for cheaper.” 

Tell me about those sides of pickles and that mac and cheese, please.

Wait, the hardest part of making either of these is cooking the protein. Why wouldn’t they include that?

But the charm of the cereal pieces in Lucky Charms is that they have basically no flavor! They are there so parents can convince themselves it’s not just a box of marshmallows.

This looks delicious. 

Okay I was just about to go look for one. Which recipe are you going with?

Okay I was just about to go look for one. Which recipe are you going with?

I have never seen a man who looked more like he was named Danny Palumbo that that happy man with the mozza stick. 

Who asked for this?

“Hat on a hat” great phrase, need to use that more.