This play is how anyone reading this should remember him - a hell of a player and, more than that, as a great, unselfish, passionate teammate.

I thought you retired?

There’s a rumor that Kurt Loder is unhappy with his cable company.

I’m hooked on the Swiffer WetJet. One, I’m not putting a soaked mop onto my hardwood floors. And I’m certainly not hand-wringing it. Two, it takes a fraction of the time to whip out the Swiffer, clean the floor, and stick it back in the closet. If it costs me $1 per pad for that convenience, so be it.

I swiff my kitchen once a week, the floors look great.

If I were you I’d be more worried about your neighborhood erupting into the Second Great Chicago Fire after the Cubs win/lose. My major concern is that I live north of Wrigleyville and am afraid the train station will somehow be damaged in the riots and I’ll have to take an express bus to the Loop for work. Fuck that.

Draper is a troll and bullshit, but Samer’s fandom and lack of the Ethics when it comes to anything about the Patriots and Gronk makes St. Louis Cardinals fans seem chill and righteous

It’s not a rumor: There were actually three of those Santa Clause movies.

Judging by Kiffin’s coaching career, he talked a big game to Saban’s daughter, got her back to his place, couldn’t figure out how to take his pants off, then left early claiming he had gotten a better offer from someone else.

After jumping out of a plane for the first time, I just felt high and horny for the next 24 hours. Unfortunately I said this out loud while sitting in the car on the way home not realizing that I had just accidentally called my dad and was in the middle of leaving him a voicemail.

Excellent kinja. But you just had to break your own rule to do it.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GUYS?

The only acceptable way to answer a phone since 1991:

What the eff, Brian?!

Owen Wilson’s biggest role prior to this was not a cameo in meet the parents. It was in Armageddon

It is fun and I did like it, though I would argue that Rush Hour is the better movie. “Wipe yourself off, man. You dead.” is one of my favorite lines ever.

And sales have fucking plummeted since. It’s regarded by literally everyone who knows what they’re talking about as a flop. If they’re dominating the smartwatch market it’s because it’s a tiny-ass market to begin with.

If you’re Starlin Castro, you can! His XBH happen NEVER.

“Oh if I had a gun I would. I probably won’t have a gun when I see him but I’ll probably beat his ass down like a dog.”