This, all the way. AND then he said he was a Bernie Bro and it was all “of course!!” like dude, I’m a liberal white woman in a tech field and I already hate you.

I’m shitting on him because he’s a toilet person.

Wrong. He absolutely doesn’t realize his shortcomings. He’s not reality based at all.

Don’t bring it up. Live well below your means. When you find that person to share your life with- propose with a huge fucking rock, then take her to your mansion in Paris and tell her that you were always rich, but you wanted her to fall in love with you, not your money.

Wow, where the fuck were you in my life 10 years ago? I never knew that I could just get out of a shitty abusive relationship by just... leaving. Gosh, if only I had you Jimny Cricket of fucking hot takes.

Let me see if I understand. He’s got some money ‘cause he just got paid, and he wishes he had someone to talk to.

I’ve been fortunate enough to arrive in job land where I found a really good job growing on a jobby.

He’s heading to Trump Tower over the weekend to discuss the Securities and Exchange Commission chairmanship.

Pretty much, or at least she’s desperately trying to make people believe that “trans-racial” as a real thing. At one point in the Stranger’s article she calls her biological parents “the white parents.”

“SHE’S REACHED THE TOP OF THE TENNIS WORLD, BUT FACES HER GREATEST CHALLENGE YET; MOTHERHOOD”

omg, are you a lady? Is that how you learned about your own anatomy?

I’m going to go with “idiot”. The slobbering gratitude to a present or former employer for offering the barest human decency at best and an insulting trail of breadcrumbs at worst, lashing out against other people who try to get fair or better treatment from that same employer ... these are reliable hallmarks of a…

It started as a way to share videos, then people started making it into a career, and are now complaining that the career is unsustainable.

Also worth noting not all shrooms are equal, I’ve had amazing ones and ones that made me feel damp for 4 hours seeing cubes stacked on cubes stacked on cubes going up in spirals and made me drool so much my pillow was soaking wet.

I mean if you’re going to Snapchat yourself doing a bump of coke at least have the presence of mind to use the whimsical dog filter.

I think lions lack the cognitive functioning necessary to make qualitative comparisons with the various species that are their potential prey, and this is mistaken as indifference for the purposes of self-inflating analogies for the dimwitted.

Weird so many of these conservative guys fuck all their male friends after they grab a bite to eat.

George W. Bush: Grow the fuck up and show some adultery.

Ephesians 5:14: If a wife-object disobeyeth her husband and master at an Applebee’s, he may commandeereth both of the appetizers, entrees, and deserts, because it was his $20 anyway, in all probability.

“Las Vegas” is actually a Spanish phrase for “evidence of man’s hubris”.