That bothers me so much in rom coms when we’re supposed to root for the couple poised to destroy one of their existing relationships. Serendipity is the worst (best?) example of that.

Cristiano is just as capable of going out for a pack of smokes as my dad was

Bingo. Jezebel occassionally publishes articles describing events or situations that, in their minds seem reasonable, but actually makes the author/subject seem petty. An article Lindy West did a few years back about her experience getting on an airplane come to mind.

Yeah, the normalization of jealousy is sort of sad. There is nothing wrong with feeling jealous or insecure, but there is definitely something wrong with expecting the people around you to constantly adjust their lives to accommodate those feelings.

These are just kinda creepy to me.

“All things to consider the next time you’re considering leaving an elaborate digital record of your interest in adultery”

“The primal, ball slapping sex your parents are having right now”

Usually. Except on Thursdays. And Margarita Mondays. And birthdays. Maybe New years. Definitely on Christmas. Sometimes at the beach, but like in a vitamin water bottle bc I’m not trying to get grief from the popo. But other then that NO. Except maybe. yes. :/

Whatever, if my future partner isn’t wear sweat pants that match mine when we get married they can just GET THE FUCK OUT.

I ran so far away from this joke

“Every night....I see that bird, and I remember thinking that no man should have such power. That’s why I gave it up, goddammit! After another decade or so of a Hall of Fame career, sure, but I can’t go back!”

Queue the action movie cliche where they go to find him for one more rodeo: "No, I gave that up!"

“in which they hold a scrimmage that counts for jack shit”

Every draft pick is sacred.

but can you post there with out pictures?? they never heard of KINJA

Hey now, better than the NFL’s questions of “Am I holding fingers up?” and “What does purple taste like?”

The couple in the header look like a couple from In The Mouth of Madness. And it did not go well...for him.

FYI the pic you used is one of a kid eating dippin dots...so.....

I have never seen Dippin’ Dots, or at least I didn’t register that I saw them. But multiple people have told me I forgot to include them. So feel free to assume they’re somewhere around the bottom, penalized for ruining perfectly good ice cream.

That is a good thing to look like!