That requires thought and language skills, which too many people don't seem to have.

The best advice I ever got for Chess was from the tutorial for the old video game "Battle Chess". The King told me, "Win, this way you will never lose."

You have two boards on either side if the backlight on the backside of the TV when you unscrew the casing. One is a master and one is a slave. The caps vizio uses aren't the top of the line capacitors and tend to blow when the TV has seen heavy usage (naturally). When a cap blows the top of it will be raise and have a…

Evan should be at the top of this list.

I'll have the S&M&B&L&T, please, and a Caesar with black cherry edible lube (ON THE SIDE!), and a glass of the penis noir. 3 oz pour, please, but at least 7 inches.

I was a pro wrestler for several years - coming up in the business with guys like Ken Anderson, Austin Aries and Shawn Daivari in Minnesota. I also wrote/designed/directed the story mode for 3 WWE video games. I though Dynamite was one of the best ever myself, and his matches with Tiger Mask were the stuff of legend.…

When I was little, maybe first or second grade I had to make a leprachaun trap in school. (I was so proud of that thing! It had a little trap door and everything.) My friends an I convinced ourselves that we saw a little green spark, which obviously was a leprachaun. (I must mention that i was a huge reader of books…

Toss some crushed garlic in oil or melted butter, then separate using a strainer. You'll get the garlic taste without the texture.

I feel like you're being very specific in that you're overdoing it with a 3-4 tablespoons of butter, when you and I both know that pan of potatoes is getting a whole fucking stick one way or the other.

Where I come from, it ain't home fries if there isn't cubed Spam mixed into the potatoes. Bring on the judgment.

That's a lot of American jingoisms for a company that misspells "Armor". GO BACK TO ENGLAND YOU LIMEY BASTARDS.

So it's not blood, it's just these colors running.

Similarly, at the South Carolina State Fair, Kevin Martin of Candlebox relentlessly complained about getting fired at Sonic.

I know the WWE had that feud with the Nuggets over them not relinquishing the arena for a playoff game, but did the Nuggets really have to mock the Owen Hart tragedy? That's a little over the edge if you ask me.

#1 - Hi-Chews

Never, whore.

Makes sense that this guy made his billions from hedge funds, because this is a bush league move.

Anytime Kathy Bates says anything about the devil, I'm waiting for her to follow it up with something about foosball.

Funny story about Jim Gaffigan. A bunch of us went to see his show when he came to Jacksonville, and afterwards we all went to a small pub about a block over. My buddy was on a date with this chick, who was cute, but a sloppy drunk. She hit on every guy, girl, and bar stool in the place.