I recently had dinner at man’s HOUSE to discuss some Synagogue business and HIS WIFE WASN’T HOME. DAMMIT WHY DIDN’T I FUCK HIM I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO?!?!?

I’ve read many of them somewhat recently (i.e. within the last 8 or so years) as my ex was an avid collector of paperbacks (of course he was); earlier ones are definitely better. Salem’s Lot is perhaps the best; I liked the Stand too.

I will be seeing this at the NOPE pm showing at the NOPE theater in NOPE, USA.

Yes! My cats love me. My mom always laughs when she visits me because they literally follow me around the house.

Hey does anyone know whether Devin Nunes had a news conference?

Yep. Called 911 a few months ago because I saw a guy punching a woman in the middle of the street in front of my house (at around 8am on a weekday). Couldn’t get through.

I wish I was as happy as this dog when I fail spectacularly.

I really fucking hate cancer.

This woman has the ear of the President, right? Just checking.

“This is the most shocking mistake ever made by a Hollywood actor.” ~Mel Gibson

Why wasn’t Meryl Streep wearing pearls? That would have made it all worth it.

Yeah I think they made the right decision.

Was this perhaps a front for some form of poison testing, like Christie is Trump’s food tester?

Don’t forget Justin Theroux singing karaoke during the crazy sequence at the end of season 2... never has anything so strange made me fall head over heels in love with someone.

Yeah, I’m planning to be a single parent soon (and have a mortgage, and am lucky in that I don’t think my company deliberately engages in sexist pay practices, has generous parental leave policies, etc.); we are definitely not part of his calculus.

I want to clarify those were purely my opinions and do not reflect those of the Wasatch County Republican Party or the Republican Party in general.

LOOK AT HOW MANY JEWISH PEOPLE I KNOW!!! I’M EVEN STANDING NEAR ONE RIGHT NOW!!! AND BLACK PEOPLE! I KNOW BLACK PEOPLE!

I remember when I saw the first preview and I was all NOPE even though Major Dad was in it.

I don’t think his reflection shows up in the mirror.

I don’t blame him; I’m a white woman and we’re the worst.