Brian Mccann immediately called Roger Goodell demanding a lifetime suspension for Tate

Tate is always close to an asshole.

"See how you like getting pushed in the back!" —Sam Shields

I'll be punching my cock to photos of Kat Dennings tonight. But Deadspin won't cover that. Elitist fucks.

Pouncey might be able to stand up to questioning at first, but sooner or later he is going to snap.

The NFL would be well served to get some rugby and AFL on their network, providing NFL fans with similar but new sports to watch.

Maybe they had the champagne out because Dick Stockton and Brian Billick announced on national television that the deal was done.

There's no proof at ALL that David Ortiz gave ANYone a shot in the ass! Oh, it says kick in the ass.

It wouldn't be the first time a Cardinals fan has made a mistake by holding up a sign.

Fortunately, like their football team, the people of Jacksonville can't read offenses.

My wife put it perfectly: "These guys are amazing. It's like they are a school of fish!"

The athlete is Donte' Stallworth, and he is saying something commendably intelligent about extrajudicial killings via drone.

For the rest of their lives, the losing team will be shamed when this story comes up. "Yes," they'll painfully recall, "I played high school soccer."

SKYLER. I did all of this—demeaning my players, blowing fourth-quarter leads, creating a toxic environment—for you and the kids. I did it for the FAMILY

This explains why I spent the better part of my 20s thinking I was a Belgian Racing Pigeon.

Annyong.

I feel like the Venn diagram of "Tebow Time people" and "people who think Ted Cruz shutting down the government in a futile attempt to get Obama to repeal a law named after him" is just one big circle.

Maybe Schiano can bring him in to heal the lepers?

Tebow would be a bad fit for the Jags because he'd turn the ball over before they get a chance to punt it.