He looks so happy! That's totally how my down syndrome cousin-in-law gets treated at any minor victory. It's awesome.

Grab your guns, find shelter, and remember to aim for the head; it begins.

I've dated a Chelsea that kept a tighter box than this.

Totally from the Golden Girls!!!! Who doesn't love the Golden Girls? When I have kids I am naming them Blanche, Sophia, Rose, and Dorothy, EVEN IF THEY ARE BOYS.

Cardinal fans will kill you with kindness. Dodger fans will kill you with whatever blunt object happens to be in the trunk of their 1975 Chevelle.

Because Brian Stow can watch a game in St. Louis and not end up in a fucking hospital??? There's that.

Schiano men.

If those guys are from Utah, then those rocks couldn't be more than six thousand years old.

Pshaw, These Jackasses barely did any damage at all-

Is anyone else surprised that none of them shouted "Roll Damn Tide!"?

If it's all about saving lives here at Goblin Valley, then might I suggest some vegetables for Glenn.

I mean, I'm all for calling out floppers, but this is too much.

Hey, Susan, you know what's more offensive that fathering multiple children? KILLING A TWO-YEAR-OLD.

Shocking coming from such a socially progressive state like Georgia

Mark Sanchez noted that Chastity was already out of the question, mainly because her high school mid term exams were this week.

A real Schiano Man believes sex should be both brief and unsatisfying.

True story: I once had a roommate who spent an entire week peeing sitting down just to prove it was me who was getting piss on the floor. Two findings came from his interesting study: a) I'm not quite as accurate as I would like to be from the standing position and b) my old roommate is a sociopath who does stupid…

A Schiano Man teaches his toddler how to pee sitting down by peeing on his toddler while sitting on him.

Why should that twitter name get him blocked? Isn't that the only thing they care about down in Mississippi?

Applying skill in pressure spots? Wait, are we still talking about clits?