Kirk Cameron’s birthday party. Evidently, the other guests were left behind.

I guess there are blind spots on these little Carrs.

I disagree. Mainly because we live in shades of grey and not black and white. Our political climate makes it seem like you are a quiverfull confederate flag waving whack job or a social justice warrior politically correct pussy, on any given issue. Generally the truth is somewhere in the middle. The muddy waters you…

One of the specific jobs tasked to the unaffiliated neurotrauma consultant is to identify those “big hits,” and take immediate action, not to make an armchair diagnosis.

If only Steve Jobs had loved chemo, we could ask him.

Ironically, these are terrible conditions for motorboating.

My earliest fantasy team is easy to imagine. It consisted of me (a small, nearsighted eight year old male) and Cover Girl from GI Joe.

Imaginary?

Don’t be sad. Harambe would've wanted it this way. He loved low hanging fruit.

Doesn’t seem weird to me. A country that desperately wants to avoid the perception of it being lawless, and which has generally avoided any serious incidents so far, wants to avoid the embarrassment of a famous athlete getting robbed and the authorities being unable to solve the crime, so they will take these…

I think it’s a combination of no filtering since you aren’t wearing clothes and the heated air in the shower rising and bringing the smell instantly up to your nose with no dissipation. This seems like something that should get some sort of scientific study.

Every Gatlin should know that All the Gold is in California.

Alternate descriptions of home run:

Forgot one record: Largest golf payout for Sweden since Elin’s divorce settlement.

More like InaccuWeather, am I right!?

Man he really cold-cocked that thing

I got my hair cut the other week and some Bill Lumbergh looking motherfucker was on his LAPTOP the entire time he got his haircut. He was seated next to me, hair cape on, laptop on his legs, just happy as could be. I glanced over to see how much hair was getting on his computer and I see he’s on Facebook. That was…

I see that dude fighting and all I see is...

My friend did the exact same thing, and every time he tries to argue that he isn’t a spoiled prick, I remind him that he called his mommy at age 25 to send him money he blew at a vegas strip club.