There is something really sexy about a girl telling you she is going to fuck the shit out of you.

So wrong

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he’s gonna marry
He’s hopin’ you can make it there if you can
‘Cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man

I agree. Sneaking around behind your wife’s back is a lot of fucking work. I did it for over nine months. That shit will wear you the fuck down.

I watch golf all the time. But its because I have money riding on it because I am a degenerate gambler.

What the fuck are you talking about with fish sticks. Those are a go to when I am bachin it for the night. My wife, kids and even the damn dog were out of town for all of last week and I rotated between fish sticks and mac-n-cheese and totinos pizza all week.

He has messages from her proving this was a set up. Bitches are crazy!!!

My wife hates the way I make the bed, so I stopped. Problem solved.

I cant agree enough. My mom and brother asked me to go to rehab because I was abusing alcohol. I was using it to mask all sorts of issues. Of course, they (rehab) labeled me an alcoholic, which I am not. I just needed to get my shit together.

No Contra, WTF!!!!!

Oh My Dear Lord

5 words that will stop “most” of these events from occurring, DON’T FUCK WITH THE POLICE

Is that a lie?

Or just have these guys take care of it for you.........

+1

He beat Joe Lewis’ ass

Well done sir