I’m not a panicky flyer but a few months ago was on cross-country flight to LA with the WORST turbulence of my life (consider I used to fly in small planes over the Vermont mountains in winter, so I’ve been through some shit). It was over the Rockies in the middle of a bad winter storm and we were literally dropping…
This is so true. I never really understood why people can’t smell their own stank. I am very aware of when my feet,, or any other part of me, are stinky...it’s usually directly related to the shoes I am wearing. I have a confession to make. I am one of those people who take my shoes off. I am 4’10 and my feet don’t…
Toilets in lavs have lids. When I was flying with babies, I changed more than one diaper on the seat of the lav toilet. My diaper bag had a changing pad in it, so I’d lay that down, and lay my baby on it. No problem.
In college once I woke up and realized my roommate’s boyfriend was about to pee in our closet during a blackout. I screamed and she jumped up and steered him to the bathroom where he apparently peed in the right spot, then passed on out the floor with his head right in front of the toilet. An hour later, I needed to…
I found his spirit animal:
I’m 6’6 and like 275lbs and I have successfully changed an 18 month old’s diaper in an airplane bathroom on SEVERAL occasions.
I discovered that people have a lot of different reactions to boobs.
Was the patio well made? Like, I don’t mean to pry but that is a very productive blackout, I with I was that productive sober.
Ha. I thought this was gonna be a story where I was part of it. Also a cross country flight and baby and mom are like Gwyenth Paltrow in Contagion sick and the second one of them got comfortable one of them would cough and get fussy and I’m a super friendly yet kind of baby faced looking adult across the aisle 45…
Wow, I sincerely hope that guy has a severe case of gout now.
—That was it. I was DONE. “No,” I say. “It’s about a woman who loses her shit on an airplane and pokes her obnoxious seatmate’s eyes out with her thumbs.”—
Avatar is shoes.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Even on flights that don’t have a changing table I still take one for the team and balance my kid on the toilet seat to change them. People are such assholes.
ie: I once was at a Red Sox game and there was a row of four children directly behind us, no exaggeration, screaming at the top of their lungs for fun. They competed who could be the loudest and highest pitch for about half an hour when one of our neighbors finally went and found an usher. The usher got the kids to…
I am the mother of a child with Aspergers. Though he’s quite chill and polite now, he alternated between an angel and a fucking monster from the time he was born until he was four. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, he exasperated pretty much anyone who had to deal with him during one of his meltdowns.
I’m also concerned about whether the hypothetical goat is into it.
Yeah, back when I lived in Tennessee I drove past a little sign (one of those yellow signs with the replacabl eblack letters) that read CORN HOLING 2-MAN TOURNAMENT.
I almost had a car accident.
I feel like this could be taken as shots fired in a glorious pizza chain war that could carry on for months, if not years. You deliver a pizza to our pizza joint, so we send our employees undercover to pose as asshole customers and make ridiculous demands. They spike our water supply, so we burn down their city hall.
The movie theater story reminded me of one of my own. One time getting popcorn at a local multiplex, the (obviously new) teenage girl behind the counter asked me “Would you like a golden shower with that?” causing me to pause significantly before confirming that I would like some butter-like topping. While she was…