I believe you have been literally catfished.

Haunted toilet, for sure! “You killllleeeed meeee Suuuuuuugggggggeeee! *flush*”

there was this...

I can’t explain it but I get the feeling this guy likes to get drunk and dress as Hedwig with the Berlin Wall cape and sing ‘Tear Me Down’ in his bathroom mirror. Then he cries for like an hour and a half becuase no matter what he tries he can’t get the make up right. I don’t know why I think that but the image is…

This entire discussion is exactly why I have been single my entire life. IMPORTANT NOTE - I am a woman. The idea that it would somehow be my job to badger some schlub into doing what he presumably should be doing anyway if he, like, wants to be a father is beyond distasteful to me, particularly since I actually can’t…

Maybe he just kidnaps as the need arises. Like “ Oh shit, late on the mortgage, better plan a kidnapping.” Idk, seems practical.

Oh hooray. I love when people with vast riches tell me what to buy that won’t take my whole paycheck. They always demonstrate a really good understanding of what an average person’s paycheck is like. It’s never a recommendation that I buy 600$ jeans and 300$ tank tops. And they always direct me to businesses that I…

I was in a mcdonalds in manchester about 15 years ago with my brother when two masked men with guns burst in and held the place up.

After that, though, you’re ironclad. You could order and eat three complete dinners without shame—after all, you’re already The Chairbuster. Might as well use it.

When I was in college, our Subway was the only restaurant on campus that was open after midnight. So, if you were drunk, your only options were: 1) Get a sober friend to drive you to Cookout, or 2) Go to Subway. I once got shoved by a drunk freshman, whose little friend kept pulling him back,saying “NO, Connor! We…

Unless it was northern CT, in which case it would be a laid-off mall clerk who was pissed off that Friendly’s didn’t serve kielbasa or ziti, and was also murderously fed up with Cox Communications user support.

The Subway in my town has a sign advertising 3 6-inch subs for $10, but someone modified it to ‘3 6-inch rubs for $10’ I laugh like a 12-year old every time I see it.

I believe the point that particular customer was trying to make was “I am the result of a hate-fuck between Satan and Cruella De Vil."

once upon a time i worked in the most magical place on earth on a day when our small, specific location was almost out of maps. there was a printing delay and we had 3 boxes to get through the weekend. that’s like 1500 maps which wasn’t really enough. to the point where we were contemplating scouring the building at…

Except that the “messaging problem” is manufactured by assholes like Limbaugh. Feminism is about equality. That’s not controversial, or it shouldn’t be. Feminists aren’t responsible for misogynist assholes throwing shit, or for you believing that shit.

I call bullshit on EVERYONE THAT SAYS THEY’RE NOT A FEMINIST (sorry for shouting). Since when is saying you’re a feminist the same as saying you love the Confederate (or Nazi) flag and everything it stands for? Everything she mentioned is something FEMINISTS have/are fighting for. FFS, the winning women’s soccer team…

I really wish famous women would stop trying to shy away from the word FEMINISM. The more they do that, the more Rush Limbaugh and his ilk win this “conversation”.

It annoys me to no end when celebrities/drunk people at parties/ talking heads drag out that “waaah, feminism has the word prefix ‘fem’ in it and therefore can only be about wimminz and haven’t we moved past that as a society now?” No, sorry, “humanism” means “I personally think everyone should be equal, and that’s…

COLD OPEN

Actually, people who attempt are more likely to attempt again. I don’t think it’s a matter of who is worthy of not worthy. My point is that I think we have this obsession with “heros” in this country and I think that plays a part in not having a realistic view of problems and solutions. He literally walked into…