Mmmm, I like watching you sleep. And 365 days from now, I'm going to murder you and and eat your kidneys for dinner. It will be fun, I promise.

It's actually perfect because Edward Snowden's girlfriend also seems like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl that sprung to life. I am basing this on quotes from the GF's Facebook account, from a Vanity Fair article.

Cara seems like the type who says low key racist shit

Oh my god she's like a white girl jaden smith. I don't care if she chooses not to define herself as a feminist, but her explanation is so hippy dippy faux-enlighted im-not-religious-im-spiritual ... it makes me want to cook with crisco and use shampoo with sulfates and parabens out of pure spite.

I would seriously go everywhere in just my underwear. School Crossing zones. Baby showers. The Lincoln Memorial. I COULD NOT DENY THE WORLD THAT PERFECTION.

If Kanye wanted someone he could dress in outfits made for 5"11 90 pound women he should've married someone 5"11 weighing 90 pounds.

"Hello, doctor, I'd like to cancel my hysterectomy. I was reading a Jezebel article and my entire reproductive tract just ran out the door."

They need to keep that pizza forever!

I didn't think there was a way to miss the Rock Me Obmbre Jesus locks.

He's a shell of his former self. You don't win in football by holding onto aging vets at superstar prices. It is what it is. The money will be better spent keeping Revis in town and drafting a DT and starting Easley. My immediate concern is who will replace him as the face of Big Y.

Exactly, the pizza and even his turkey (or was it a chicken?) at Big Y were staples.

Love Vince - I think he belongs in the HoF because, while his numbers aren't there it's because of the amount of attention he drew and you can argue he was the most dominant defensive lineman for that reason over the past decade.

I was afraid of this when he got hurt last season and they still made the AFC Championship.

If your psychology's like, "that woman has clearly stated she has no interest in fucking me. I bet I can get laid if I do her a favor!" that's on you.

If you could give less than a fuck, that means you still have some fuck to give. I gaze upon the fields where you grow your fucks and find that the crop has been bad, but it has borne a little fruit.

I'm imagining Chris singing the wrong name into Karrueche's voicemail a la He's Just Not That Into You. What I wouldn't give to have that voicemail leaked...

Sure he can! He probably won't get too many takers though. :)

Coffee and a scone INDEED!

The MRAs are already getting so salty about this.