Yeah, I got really confused and thought she was referring to this at first:

Patriot fan here, so get your eye roll in now:

"Belichick's excuse does nothing to explain how the Colts' footballs were somehow immune to thermophysics."

At the same time the Press Conference was going on it was revealed the King of Saudi Arabia died further destabilizing the region. What did CNN, MSNBC, and Fox cover... this "story"...

Funny you mention the election; My brother and I both noticed that the ESPN reaction to the Brady presser was akin to a MSNBC/Fox reaction to anything the other side does.

the only thing that changes over time is that the man onscreen begins to express remorse over some of the women and children he killed

'Jackson said yesterday he handed the ball off because he "wanted that ball as a souvenir."'

The fact that balls are a synonym for testicles is also not the issue - but it's extremely important that we discuss it whenever possible.

My father got into a serious accident while riding a horse a few years ago. He's fine now, so I can tell this story. He was around 75 at the time, and had a new girlfriend whom he was trying to impress with a romantic ride on the beach. The horse freaked out and threw him into a tree. As a result, he punctured his…

The score in the first half with underinflated balls was 17-7.

Bet they put a bounty on that third wife.

This story involves a shit I actually witnessed, versus one I took.

Don't know about that but she's definitely a Jeanketeer.

I worked for a grocery store for about six years. On my second day of the job I went into the public washroom to check it for cleaning... there was shit eeeverywhere. On the floor, on the toilet, on the walls, the sick freak had even thrown some on the ceiling and written "haha poop!" on the mirror. Thankfully I…

Whenever I'm reading the reviews on a recipe I want to make and someone says "The hubby just loved it", I'm immediately like YOUR OPINION IS INVALID, NEXT!

This take is entirely too reasonable and is ice cold. I demand you heat it up at once.

WE HAVE REACHED THE TAKE SINGULARITY

I shall paint you a nicer story.