Jim Irsay: (looks at watch) "6 pm already? Time for my supper blow!"

I had a bumper sticker that said "Republicans for Voldemort" and I had a little old lady walk into a store behind me once and say "Oh, I don't know who this Voldemort fellow is, but it's so nice to see a young person who isn't afraid of being a Republican!" I couldn't even correct her, she was so earnest!

woot! i love to hear stuff like that. i have a biz plan written up. the idea is to base this co-working/production centers in under developed urban areas, and train local kids in digital production skills, so that everyone in the area benefits from the growing business (a mindful way of gentrification, if you will). i…

i have been working in media and technology since the early 90s in NYC. everything from mainstream broadcasters to hip hop documentaries. sexism is rampant in both areas. in media, you have to swallow a lot of shit sammiches made by men making the content. in technology, your shit sammich flavor is that you are girl…

A British blonde woman in her 20s who was crew on a cruise ship that was in my shipyard for a week. Embodied every horrible stereotype about alcoholic British women in their 20s. Rude to every waiter and bartender that night (I think I tipped everyone like 40 percent out of embarrassment), the ultimate II'MMMMM…

"stuck between a cock and a damp place" this might have just straight up made my night.

Not my story at all, but my cousin once fucked Vanilla Ice. He looked like this at the time (complete with that vile goatee-thing):

Had just graduated from college and was interviewing for jobs. Human resources lady calls me for a second interview, which goes well. She calls me for a third and arranges it at a local café (for a change of scenery). She looks amazing, but much different than she had the prior to appointments. It becomes obvious that…

so, a few years ago i got violently mugged. i lived alone, and the psychological impact of being jumped combined with knowing that the guy knew where i lived (had my ID, etc) was pretty intense.

My friends and I love to mock each other about the various losers we slept with in our erstwhile youth. There's one I have never 'fessed up to out of embarrassment, a guy who was a little more, shall we say, redneck, than my usual sensitive artist type. He drove a pick-up truck, was a hard drinker and a tough guy. We…

The feet smell would explain a LOT if he in fact was a troll!

once, when i was in my strapping 20's, i went on a blind trip to rochester, NY to see an older gentleman (who paid the expenses) i had been chatting with online. when i got there he was certainly not at all like his pics, and he invited his neighbor/girlfriend over for a 3-way. i was sorta' stuck between a cock and…

So many to choose from. I'll let yall decide. Let me preface this list by saying that I'm omitting the sociopaths and boring losers. This list is in no way representative of all my questionable and embarassing encounters.

Well, I could just copy/paste my winning Best Prom Story here now couldn't I? The Baggage Bandit definitely takes the cake.

My ex boyfriend who peed off a balcony then showed everyone his dick before we left to, in the words of his friends, "git sum."

I lost my virginity to a guy who lived on my dorm floor. He had bright blue troll doll hair and was pale as a ghost. His dorm room smelled like stinky feet. It was the worst. When I see people from college, "the troll" comes up at least once.

He understands. He doesn't give a fuck. Money.

This is the sleazy encounter version of a ghost story

Kristen Stewart, who's constantly criticized or lauded for looking like she doesn't give a fuck about what you think of her, is surprised by her public perception. As the Still Alice actress told Salon, "I'm like, actually, no one gives a fuck like me. No one gives more of a fuck than me. It's just ironic to me. I'm…