omg that pink dress is amazingggggggg

Typically I’d agree with Conway here. Even if she were saying something meaningful, she’s much more likely to be dismissed with an eye roll than a male counterpart. However, she spouts nonsense and then gets upset because no one sane takes her seriously enough to show even a modicum of respect.

Jason Chaffetz can eat every bag of dicks. He might be the biggest douchewizard in Washington.

I think as far as Rocks for president I would go for Metamorphic rocks. They are formed under intense pressure and heat and have layers so they could multitask during high stress situations. They also have shiny crystals which would bring a little bling to the office. I might go with Igneous rocks so I could yell…

Obligatory.

New Hampshire: Sorry We’re In The Way Of Getting To Maine.

New Hampshire’s state motto should be “New Hampshire: Just visit Vermont instead.”

Oh man, I seriously hope someone robs that dude’s house and police officer is like “hey, you should be grateful someone thinks your stuff is nice enough to steal. Let’s leave it at that sweetcheeks.”

ALSO! DO NOT LISTEN TO JUDAS PRIEST! WE HAVE ANECDOTES FROM THE LATE 80S/EARLY 90s! AND BEWARE OF ALL BACKWARDS MESSAGES ON LPs!

You can’t just throw around the term “manservant” and expect people to NOT just picture this guy every time.

No. I predict that sex with this bro would last under 3 minutes, and even though it was really quick it would also somehow be very boring and you’d wish he’d gotten it over with in 2 minutes.

Nice try, Dane Cook. Take those prosthetics and makeup off.

I am so disgusted with our country. Republicans keep getting rewarded for putting their greed over helping the country. They faced no consequences for bullshit Iraq war, they faced no consequences for 8 years of intense racism aimed at Pres Obama, and I have no faith in our voters to hold these fuckers accountable for…

Numerous reporters spotted carts of Bud Light being rolled into the Capitol in preparation for a GOP House celebration.

I assume that would be considered a “well (actually) drink”?

I concur. The beverage makes Toxic Masculinity seem palatable. I’d have named it Energized Feminist Base or Sweet Misandry (bonus points because either name would rattle dipshit MRAs).

We need to create a religion whose act of prayer involves punching a nazi or a homophobe. When they try to lay charges just claim it was a religious ceremony.

Yeah, I think he’s more hot than cute. His dry sense of humor and the “you’re an idiot” look that he’s perfected are hot, not cute.

So many of my comments in real life and here and elsewhere on the web boil down to “Jesus, look at this fucking asshole right here”, and I mean to one day change that and cleanse myself of this all-consuming hatred, but Jesus, look at this asshole right here.

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.