Can we PLEASE call these “Alternative Birth” Certificates

“DJ, fitness enthusiast, woman, Seagram heiress, fitness entrepreneur, “it girl,” influencer, fitness expert, model, lifestyle blogger, majored in sculpture at Bard, minimalist homeowner, appeared briefly on Tinsley Mortimer’s terrible 2010 reality show High Society, Canadian, age 29, 370k Instagram followers.”

And it’s not like bologna and mayo sandwiches or drinking bud light are going anywhere, so...I’m calling bullshit on that.

Griffin isn’t exactly optimistic about what this whole debacle will do to her career.

OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THEY PRANK CALL HIM ON THIS LINE.

Utility diamonds are the best diamonds. DeBeer’s marketing be dammed.

I share your concept of luxury. It’s more about sensation. Cashmere covered everything.

Shorn of context, it sounds like the Eat Pray Love kind of faux-spiritual bullshit made for Instagram. I’m guessing she heard it somewhere and had no idea it wasn’t a Goop original.

Florida saw this and has a beer in hand and is ready to ask someone to hold it.

Kelis is a chef now?

Go to you room an think about what you just said. I will not accept this *adjusts mom jeans while storming out of the room*

She thinks SHE’S a Hamptons pioneer? Ha! (My Hamptons heroine)

Teenagers are the worst.

Yeah.

It can be whatever your heart desires.

I think I read that in book club in 2010. That’s what got me thinking about how it wouldn’t be so bad to have my own hut. You just have to do it right. With cake and wine.

I do fieldwork in the Canadian Arctic and Subarctic, where bears (black/brown/grizzly/polar, depending on where you are) are something you have to think about.

One woman was menstruating, the other wasn’t - correct? Wouldn’t this right here debunk the theory, menstruation wasn’t a variable in why they were killed if both a menstruating woman and a non were killed?

*puts down grilled cheese*

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?