At first I was like “Hey! Listen!” but then I was like “Well excuuuse meee princess!”

They only had 3 flavors to pick from back then: Salt, lard and horribly overcooked. 

“It should be called ‘shit sandwich!’”

Thank You For Joking

Eckhart seems like a nice guy but I have heard he can be kind of two faced.

“Get your hands on me, you damn dirty ape!”

Planet of the Monkey Business

What’s weird about Vanilla Sky is how close to the original it is. It’s like someone hit Copy/Paste and put a shiny tom Cruise filter on it.

I recall Vanilla Sky being a divisive film, but I don’t get it being one of the “worst” American remakes of a foreign film. The original Open Your Eyes was definitely better but I always liked its more flawed remake as well.

“They’re a pawn of this, they’re a pawn of that.” Typical conspiratorial thinking. Look, I’ve seen GI Joes. They don’t even fit on a chess board and none of them are even bald, much less limbless.

Best joke of the entire series:

Richard Dreyfuss is the lifetime walking embodiment of Justified/Raylan Givens’s “If you run into a asshole in the morning...” quote.

To this day, Crossroads remains the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Yeah yeah, Glitter is more incompetent, but Crossroads is hateful. It’s the rare film that is somehow sexist against both men and women.

Thank God we had less non-binary or transgender awareness back then, because I’m sure the filmmakers would’ve shat all…

About a decade ago, I saw Fleetwood Mac at Jazz Fest in New Orleans (yes, yes, Jazz Fest isn’t really a jazz fest), and it was essentially three straight hours of massive hit after massive hit. I didn’t even realize I knew that many of their songs. They played one new song and even that was decent.
It was an absolutely…

Roiland looks like the kinda manchild who brings a board game no one has heard of to a house party and throws a tantrum when no one wants to play.

While some of them may be closeted, I expect the majority are just simply bigots.

It’s like I always say: You don’t change the number of planets by redefining the word “planet,” you change the number of planets by blowing one to smithereens

Woah - that list suggests there’s a good Spin Doctors album.

Yo, riddle me this. What’s the difference between Sy Snootles, and a dude who breeds Purgil - those giant space mammals they were flying around in in Ahsoka last week?

“Elon Musk also weighed in, posting “I support Russell Brand. That man is not evil.””

Fuck, that’s the harshest roast yet.