Birth control. I’ve been using it for years and flying is always a breeze.

I’m also a fan of boobies, whatever color their feet are.

Yup. Get her a bus pass or teach her how to Uber.

Right. You also need to be able to sort the tiny amount of good from all the bad, and if you can do that you didn’t need the advice in the first place.

Sold. I still can’t believe that model was abandoned in favor of the current lineup of vaguely Mini-shaped minivans.

Just get a vasectomy and never have to worry about it again. 7.5 billion is enough, anyway. If you ever change your mind, you can adopt some poor miserable kid who already exists and do some actual good instead of creating a whole new useless person just because you wanted to be a dad.

I have neither the budget, need, or time for one, but if I ever do I might snag a used one with a stick and turbo.

Nope. The fun colors were only available on certain undesirable trim packages, and there definitely wasn’t a green. I don’t shop at the dealership anyway, because they only ever order lame Jeep’s (automatics, full doors, hard tops, ugh). Try finding a manual with half doors on a dealer lot.

Holy shit that second one is fantastic.

I was shopping new Wranglers last year and the color options were black, white, and at least 4 different greys. There was a nice blue, but it was only available on a trim package I definitely didn’t want. Wtf

Cool. Did they not sell well? It looks coolerand way more fun than any of the current models. I’d drive the shit out of that Roadster one.

What is this variant called and do they still make them? I don’t see anything like it on the MINI website. I see these occasionally in passing and think, “ooh there’s a MINI that actually looks kind of cool and fun” but then it’s gone before I can tell what it is that makes it different from the rest of the lame,…

Why does such a slow car need such a large speedometer?

A friend of mine has one and occasionally I am unfortunate enough to drive it. Every single time, I am forced to wonder why a car that goes so slow needs a speedometer that is so big. I feel like the car is just fucking with me.

What makes this a crossover?

You know, they still give you an itemized bill along with the check to sign, so you can still verify its accuracy AND save time all at once! I’ve eaten at countless restaurants countless times all over the world, and I rarely see an error, and when I do it’s usually because they forgot to charge me for something…

So avoid everything? Do they serve anything without meat?

According to an article I just read, you might be a dictator.

Fantastic. These things look like such a blast, and California is the perfect place for one. I just wish the rear end looked better. The front looks so amazing, but the rear is disappointing. I don’t know what would improve it, though. Do they make one with an exposed rear wheel/tire? That might do it.

It is, but so is breeding.