These magazines are indistinguishable from each other. How on earth do they succeed when they are each full of mindless crap and lack any imagination and originality?

This seems optimistic.

The ratio of cream to biscuit is perfect in a regular Oreo. Any divergence from that tastes horrible.

That looks amazing. If I could afford to move to Canada, and afford to maintain the house, and could live comfortably so far away from a city centre, I might consider it. But realistically those things are deal-breakers for me.

There are two ways this can go. Olsen Twins or Lindsay Lohan. Either would not surprise me, but it’s weighted towards the latter.

I give you Fenella Woolgar.

One of my favourite Star Wars games was the Pit Droids puzzle game. It’s not available on Steam or anywhere else that I can easily find.

Defaming has a specific definition, and this is not it. If this article should have taught you anything it’s that accuracy matters.

Perhaps they should hang a salt-lick on their front gate.

Don’t worry about number 2, because it actually means every state has similar wackadoo stories, you just don’t hear about them.

Youth is wasted on the young.

...so we might as well consider it seriously.

Madonna has reached the “looking like Eileen Brennan” stage of her life.

Everyone knows usernames prove you’re an expert.

This poop looks more like ice cream to me. There may be an impending coprophage crisis.

For some reason, instead of It’s A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, or even Die Hard, this year everyone was watching Home Alone as their main Christmas movie.

Suggestion for 2019: Less articles about people with stupid names, neck tattoos, or who spruik pseudo-science on Instagram.

I miss euphemistic pop music.

“Wellness” is the word you have to use when there is no medical science associated with your ostensibly health-related venture.

Yeah, those looked incredibly familiar to me, I think I remember seeing a lot of them around.