“In 2004 my friend and I drove to Pennsylvania to load up on about $300 worth of fireworks.”

How’s about you go do it and report back.

It’s easy to bag on a dude who owned no-bullshit waterfalls, but I would bet the money loaned/given to his family and the money stolen by his crooked advisors dwarfs any of the dumb novelty shit he bought himself.

Watching the ball drop is stupid. All the other things you said are cool as hell and you’re making your life worse for the sake of elitism by shunning them.

“I think people who can afford a $100k car should be able to understand what semi-autonomous means.”

It means he’s good at Tetris and it makes him a genius.

“Asperger’s and poor social skills”

Everyone’s been after him all season because he’s an asshole, man. I say this as a lifelong Penguins fan. He’s our Tom Brady — embrace the hate he earns or quit watching him.

Yup :)

Colin Kaepernick seems like a good person. He is a shitty football player.

I didn’t say YOU did, I said that IT IS. Intention is pointless when talking about a topic like that.

Being generous to morons just makes them dumber.

What possible extra context could be needed for someone with a functioning brain to identify this as satire? No link-clicking was required here, dude.

You don’t have to explain jokes most places. Just on sites like Jezebel.

Nah, I got the point, and I know how to read. Your intentions are just way clearer than you’re intending.

nah, pittsburgh’s pretty neat.

I seriously can’t shake being pissed about this. Patrick Redford does not understand or care about the sport he’s talking about, nor does he have the integrity to admit when he fucks up talking about it. Let this clown cover monster truck shows or something.

Oh, there it is, with literally no acknowledgement of how wrong and how long your words were. Like half the people on this site are great and the other half are basically pointless assholes. Sort your shit out.

Yes, attacking Bernie isn’t implicitly tied to Hillary, the Dem Primary, or the 2016 election. My mistake.

“The Penguins and Predators were knotted in an ugly and contentious Game 1 for two periods, until a stunning flurry of goals turned the once-dramatic game into a blowout within a matter of minutes.”