Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.

It would be conceivable that I'd have a very untoward feeling about this.

I'm pretty sure if you served Gummi Bears in my drink I would be bouncing here and there and everywhere.

Where are all the chewy-chewy cocoa beans?

Zed: Answer the Gimp.

I pay the regular price, but my McDonalds happily takes my (normal sized) travel mug and fills it up. Will the coffee be discounted if I use this?

I don't know why you'd need to clean it since that sauté pan won't fit on the burner.

They also seem to have some dolphin proof iPad cases.

It seems to be a fully posable Batman figure made out of Lego, rather than a fully posable Lego Batman figure.

"Puerile sniggering at breasts"

A coup d'etat you say?

Totally thought the headline said "We Made Up The Mean Dressage Guy". With makes all the difference.

"and none of them is as sharply drawn as Harvey Dent, The Joker, or even Carmine Falcone"

I can't unthink this.

I feel like this already exists. I frequently will preorder a book months in advance, and then wouldn't you know it, that book arrived yesterday.

What's amazing is that when I watched the video, her boobs were normal, but then her doctor gave her a lift with Yesterday Plastic Surgery.

You should be careful when you play fireman.

"Unless you're being cremated, blasted into space, or turned into a cyborg, everyone will need a coffin at some point in their life."

I'm gonna be that guy for a sec. You should never just lift and move a regulation slate table with friends. I've always called professionals to handle moving my billiards table. It needs to be taken apart, moved, put back together and the slate needs to be realigned and leveled. The slate alone is 3 pieces of…