The final issue of The Vision left me in tears. Movies do that all the time, but comics rarely do.

DC’s constant problem in a nutshell.

It would be hilarious if they incorporated part of the Captain Marvel mini-series from Secret Invasion, and “Carol” turns out to be a Skrull.

“I’ve seen enough hen-tay to know where this is going.”

On the other hand, if Cap had just kept his head down and kept his mouth shut like a “good” soldier, HYDRA’s Project Insight launch would have assassinated Tony Stark, Stephen Strange and thousands of innocents...and everyone else would subsequently have been wiped out by Dormammu. So maybe it’s not so monochrome as…

Look, if pairs of boobs are so important to you, why don’t you just play with your own?

a lot of grumbling about the aesthetic

I remember when Gawker, in its death throes, posted a whinge about how they were treated so unfairly. Approximately 75% of the responses were along the lines of, “You clowns did this to yourselves. You never dreamed someone could or would hit back.”

“The North American Free Trade Agreement (or NAMBLA)...” -- Jon Stewart

He’s trying too hard, like a less-beefy Happy.

Did your parents have any children who lived?

Ruining everything is what they do. It’s their life goal.

virtue signaling

One day years ago—when “identity theft” was a hot new topic that EVERYONE was talking about—I came to work and found a roster posted on the breakroom wall that listed the SSN of every single employee (of over two hundred and fifty). The supervisor who put it up just guffawed at my insistence that such information…

DON’T TAZE AXE ME, BRO

Clean, delicious, sustainable coal! Each serving comes with a full day’s supply of vitamins and iron!

Something something Chicago something Detroit.

“Gimme my parade and maybe I’ll reconsider.”

Cutting my mouth on the rectangle of hard bubblegum in each pack of Wacky Packages was half the fun. (You Can’t Go Home Again, Part 8922: when they issued new Wackys a few years ago, I was devastated that it didn’t have the same scent of powdered sugar, adhesive and card stock from my childhood.)