Cutting my mouth on the rectangle of hard bubblegum in each pack of Wacky Packages was half the fun. (You Can’t Go Home Again, Part 8922: when they issued new Wackys a few years ago, I was devastated that it didn’t have the same scent of powdered sugar, adhesive and card stock from my childhood.)

It’s like living in a damn Encyclopedia Brown story.

Orrrrrr, they could just do something else? Honestly, do they think they’re going to find success with Roseanne Without Roseanne? A show that constantly reminds everyone of the shitstorm by its very existence? ...Oh well, it’s the network’s money, they can burn it however they like.

It’s an act...the act of downing someone from behind by knocking their legs out from under them.

Pacific Gas and Electric’s apology for blowing up a town was court-mandated (and laughably insincere).

Last year’s rally: “Look at how many of us there are! We’re taking over! We’re #winning!!”

But does it really matter to them? I swear I can see ears fold and close up when I try to sanesplain things to immigration hypocrites. Each and every one of them from Arianna Huffington to Dotard Dump operates on 100% “I got mine, now slam the door.”

Sony’s decision turned out to be pretty wrongheaded.

Yeah, but somebody gets off on it, because Ilsa was a freakin’ franchise. But for the really weird Nazi shit, there was...this.

Nobody deserves to be abused as much as he was over a labor dispute.

Memories...

I feel sorry for the daughters, but I’m sure the Dotard’s regime is seeking to reunite the entire family...outside of the United States of MURIKA FUGGYEH, of course. “Thanks for your service, sucker—now get the fuck out,” etc.

Once ran into someone online ranting about how they didn’t understand why Japanese folks take their shoes off before entering a home. Wasted an extraordinary amount of time trying to explain that they didn’t want the residue from animals, vehicles, public restrooms and whatever else all over their floors before…

The worst part about this is the stated intent. Remember, they are committing this abusive campaign deliberately. As a “deterrent.”

Like orders to report for military service! ...Unless you have a disqualifying condition, like bone spurs...a pilonidal cyst...or other priorities...or a rich daddy.

And he doesn’t even want it sometimes! It’s merely important that HE gets two scoops and everyone else gets only ONE. (EDIT: Shout out to the civility maven in the thread fretting that mocking Trump is just proving BOTHSIDESBAD!! Haaaaaay! Why can’t we just stand for the anthem and protest very quietly in the…

“That didn’t go as planned,” one of the hosts said.

Jehovah: “You know what? We need a living link between ‘tick’ and ‘roach.’ And make it so that the digested blood it shits in books smells like rotting fruit. Aw yeah, that’s the stuff. Ha ha, they think Satan’s the evil one.”