I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with people lately (I have my suspicions, but nothing concrete), but tonight I see at least two football shitheads who need to go to prison (but of course won’t because they’re good guys at the sportsball thingy, woo woo).

Sarcasm is suspected.

Yeeesh, how many super-teams is Kamala going to be part of? Or is Champions already getting the hook?

Wait, you mean special effects from twenty years ago aren’t as sophisticated as they are today? Holy shit, what a revelation!! Why didn’t someone tell us sooner?!?

Does he wind up in a wheelchair?

Why does Cartoon Bane still always have the easily-detached giant red tube running into his skull?

people who claim the campaign is a “protest” or “boycott” are misinformed, because, in fact, it is a “social experiment” the purpose of which is to “keep Starbucks accountable.”

Except the protest voters do deserve it. They knew exactly what the differences were; they knew exactly what the stakes were. They simply assumed that they could have their cake and eat it too, that they could have their little foot-stomp of self-righteousness and enough people would vote for Clinton to save their…

All the pearl-clutching faux-ragers can get back to me when somebody grabs Pence by the pussy.

There’s still Squidbillies.

And yet he and his minions are already well on their way to laying waste to everything this country was once supposed to stand for.

You just couldn’t help yourself, could you. “I have a vision for the future...but first, let me alienate half my potential audience by gettin’ my licks in on Hillary! It’s all her fault! It’s all her fault! It’s all her fault! ...NOW, about what to do ne—hey, come back!!”

“I don’t understand why we don’t use nukes more often. Is that the football? Gimme that. Throw a dart at the map and I’ll show you some goddamn leadership.” 

It’s time for the United States to go completely Inglorious Basterds on the alt-right.

1) Not all white males, thanks.

I work in a very diverse workplace. The night of the election all the neanderthals came out, and surprise—they turned out to be diverse as well. Many of my Filipino-American coworkers have been celebrating Rodrigo Duterte’s presidency for weeks, and they’re giddy at the prospect of Trump giving the okay to purge the…

No worries, Uncle Mexico Moneybags will pick up this tab too...or we’ll nuke ‘em. Trump logic!

It’s funny how this turns the 1976 Dino Kong arguments. Rick Baker (Gorillas in the Mist, The Incredible Shrinking Woman) designed and built an accurate gorilla suit, only to have producer Dino de Laurentiis tell him to stand and walk upright in the finished product. This didn’t sit well with Baker, of course, because…

There were always be assholes who think sneering at everything makes them look clever.