This is a good joke until you realize there is not a chance in hell gronk could do that math. Edit: and then I realize that it adds up to $70, so the joke is actually perfect.

So many aspects to this joke... aimed for 69 and missed? But let’s be real, he woulda’ve aimed for 69.69

Gronk: *silently calculating*

If you disgorge an antelope, does that mean it’s a cantaloupe?

I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS

Every American I see at Disney riding around on a motorized scooter, sucking on oxygen is still alive. #science

We need to stop blaming the victim and blame the people responsible: the people who got it on camera.

It’s what I’d picture a bizarro version of David Tracy’s yard would look like if he had too much money and a healthy coke addiction....

First kid comes in with Swag Level on Expert.

What are you talking about?! Its obvious he hit some oil on the road! These new FWD cars don’s understeer anymore! Haven’t you heard of these new FWD differentials that work on magic that completely eliminate understeer as the manufactures state! Come on man!

Rivers Romo needs to grow up and start a band called “Geezer”

WHY DID HE NOT CHECK THE TIRE PRESSURES GODDAMMIT?

I think you’ve got to rebuild. This year is obviously lost, so you’ve got to think about 2018. Curry isn’t fitting in with Durant. Might I suggest a straight up Curry for Carmelo Anthony trade in the offseason?

That’s great and all, but I still think it needs more cowbell if you want our enemies to fear the Reaper.

I actually have a solution. Birds could stop flying full speed into walls like idiots!

Is it just me, or are these tigers looking a little, uh, overfed?

Seriously, can any of you even imagine a world in which poor people got to eat but we didn’t have Vanderbilt university? Then who would come in last in the SEC?

Let’s make a deal. Get rid of every unnecessary government agency, expenditure, subsidy, tax break and handout. Basically cut everything that is not essential to the operation of the federal government. Then, get rid of/stop enforcing laws that don’t need to exist. Use the budget surplus to pay off some of the…

“The year before that they was wearing trash bags”