“and he’s only a sophomore so I don’t care”

NO NO, REALLY, LET’S JUST ROLL UP TO A C&C EVENT AND START CHUNKING GRENADES INTO THE CROWD, BECAUSE THAT WOULD CAUSE LESS CASUALTIES THAN IF WE PUT THIS CAR INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

Does it come with a Digital Tire Gauge?

Jeff Sessions is the worst of the crackers.

Anybody else watching this game said to themselves, “I bet Hunter Renfrow will be on the goddamn Patriots after college.”

Dabo: Listen up men! I’m gonna jam these timeouts up my ass and let’s go get us a field goal!

Clemson fans are going talk about this win for years to come. Fortunately, no one else will understand a word of it.

Jeez Milo, you’re such a wet, infected, blanket.

“Is it okay if we practice some defense now, Dad?”

To his credit, Allen also called Santa Ana after their meeting to apologize again.

They should just make the purchase-buyback location as far away as possible and get him to drive to Germany since it doesn’t specify a buyback location...

Appropriate screen name is appropriate. Hate to sound like I’m taking VW’s side in this but man do I not feel the least little bit bad for them telling this dude to fuck right off.

Like you could afford a new Porsche.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

Haven’t seen someone spend this much time running around Philadelphia with inevitable disappointment on the horizon since Hillary Clinton.

He also post-dated their final paychecks for after the championship game.

Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

I’d call Jerry two-faced, but let’s be honest, he must be on this seventh or eighth face by now.