CHECKMATE, LIBTARDS!!!

Nice try, Gizmodo. It’s less than 0° C where I am, so clearly there’s no such thing as climate change.

In case anyone was wondering about the Spanish being spoken, he’s saying:

Player 2 has entered the game

As a person who has attended golf tournaments, I can unequivocally state that there are no good people who attend golf tournaments.

“and he’s only a sophomore so I don’t care”

Once a day, bro.

It still goes around the Earth once a year though, right?

NO NO, REALLY, LET’S JUST ROLL UP TO A C&C EVENT AND START CHUNKING GRENADES INTO THE CROWD, BECAUSE THAT WOULD CAUSE LESS CASUALTIES THAN IF WE PUT THIS CAR INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

Does it come with a Digital Tire Gauge?

Jeff Sessions is the worst of the crackers.

Anybody else watching this game said to themselves, “I bet Hunter Renfrow will be on the goddamn Patriots after college.”

Dabo: Listen up men! I’m gonna jam these timeouts up my ass and let’s go get us a field goal!

Clemson fans are going talk about this win for years to come. Fortunately, no one else will understand a word of it.

“A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you’ll have to use proton torpedoes.”

Too soon?

Jeez Milo, you’re such a wet, infected, blanket.

“Is it okay if we practice some defense now, Dad?”

To his credit, Allen also called Santa Ana after their meeting to apologize again.