Twins?

I enjoyed the speech even though I'm a husky Washington fan.

It does sound like homespun hokum. But Frost tells it so well —

due to our associate manager being a leaking canoe full of emulsified dick-meats

Breadsticks. For the mouth part of your face.

I just checked to make sure I had enough whiskey to get through reliving some nightmares and it looks like we are good to go.

Pretty cool that Peyton wears his uniform out to the club.

Sure! Here you go:

Agent: Cam, you need a firewall to potect you from this happening.

For my bachelor party my D&D buddies found three really attractive college women who played D&D and paid them a bunch to just sit around drinking beer and playing D&D with us all night. It was really awesome to be honest. Nothing weird (other than grown-ups playing D&D) happened. But man it was so much fun.

I heard he laid a deuce in the boss's office

I can only imagine how proud Jacob and Stephen are.

AWWW JEEEZ! Coach sure is gonna be sore at me.

Secret Service Agent 1: I'm only going to ask you one more time. Are you working with anyone else?
Secret Service Agent 2: ANSWER him, you slippery son of a bitch!
Secret Service Agent 1: Are you working with anyone else? Anyone else? Yes or no?
Seal: [Leans forward]
Seal: [Coughs]
Seal: [Claps twice]
Secret Service Agent…

I'd actually score 2-0. wingz43va was first, and the gif is much better.

"I have a Marlins car and the largest collection of Marlins memorabilia probably in the United States."

Honestly, the dude on SNL does it better.

Not much man what's raw with you

"Praise Allah!"

that's fantastic. The brand doesn't even matter, the real story's right there in black an white.