Does anyone else suspect it was the exact SAME packages of salmon and cream cheese every year?

That lox stock photo at the top of the page reminded me of a strange coworker I had. This is not a restaurant story, but worth telling:

you will roux the day.

"Heavy Rains at Valhalla" is the name of my Nordic folk metal band

If these comments have taught me anything it's that my shit-talking game is pitifully weak.

I've never been blocked, so I'm gonna tell the story of the time I blocked Darren Rovell on Twitter. It was maybe two years ago, and I was fake-RTing him saying dumb shit (which, yes, is obnoxious, but also funny sometimes!). I'd read about his (deeply wienery) habit of following people just long enough to send them…

HUNTER PENCE'S SISTER MAKES $86 PER HOUR AT HOME AND WON'T SHARE SECRETS IN COMMENTS SECTION OF POPULAR WEBSITE

Hunter Pence likes the Mets

Until Texas breaks off and starts its own basketball team! YEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWW

The scariest parts of this Sharknado movie were seeing washed-up D-listers 20 years after their "prime."

As I understand, it was only rejected because they forgot to put quotes around "Fans".

LeBatard's on his radio show now saying that there was no money offered and that he only ever called to ask for a quote.

I know 1 million sounds like a lot, but trust me you can blow a lot more on two aces.

The city's apparently the new Los Angeles in terms of stadium negotiations.

My grandfather knew Boone from the golf course. I remember that when the movie came out, Boone was signing photos of Denzel in the movie and (allegedly) selling them. My grandfather brought me one—I'm sure he had won it off of him on the course rather than paid for it—and told me that Herman Boone was the biggest…

Shots fired.

Nope, everyone loved and still loves Saved By The Bell. You must of been more of a Blossom type of kid.

Will Gordon loves life and tolerates dissent. He lives in Cambridge, Mass., and naturally enjoys flavored Samuel Adams.

"Less" instead of "Fewer" and three missing commas. This plaque commits more errors than Maddux averaged per season of his career.

Well considering it was my Dad's house and also not in America I didn't want to risk her telling him that I was like killing people in his house or something.