And he kisses like he’s at a drinking fountain with a negligible water stream.

A desperately needed eye-cleanser after that top photo..

he will never stop,  he will die on a crapper while twitting

Trump: Marilyn, we have to do this fake kissing thing in front of the camera now, OK?

This visit reeks of desperation. How long before he gives himself the Medal of Honor for his trip to a combat zone? 

Right? Giving the Queen shit for seeming old and out of touch at this point is so...yawn. Let us not also forget this is the same feisty 92-year old who committed legendary acts of shade against Drumpf with the clever use of BROOCHES. Show some damn respect.

Oh you are going to have so much fun with the rest of the list! They get a lot wider than pipe cleaner.

*reads ears section*...hehe. Dumbasses.

Foreign objects in their vaginas are the reason we must reBUILD THE uterine WALL NOW!!!

Reminds me of that magic Johnson quote: don’t give up, don’t ever give up 

“HAS VIBRATOR IN RECTUM AND TRIED TO REMOVE IT WITH SCREWDRIVER AND LACERATED RECTUM; OBJECT IN COLON NOW”

The penis entries are always a worthwhile reminder that with close to 400MM people in America and 7B throughout the world, no matter how crazy the activity you can imagine, there's probably 200 people doing that very thing right now. 

I judge my year based on whether or not I appear on this list. I do not, so my year was good.

10/10 for the first troll, 0/10 for the second. Since 0/10 is 0, you still get a 0.

So they’re not actually in your backyard? Or eating your food?

Ok.

Maybe we should have thought of that before inflicting decades of shitty foreign policy on Central America. Whoops.

This. Exactly this. Fascism CAN happen here, and it’s closer than we want to think.

I keep hollering it to anyone who will listen, this is the Reichstag fire of the Trump administration. He authorized lethal force for a reason, they will find a justification to use it, and then they will use the predicable fallout of US soldiers killing a unarmed brown person to split the nation, and in the political…

I’m in a fucking dark place over this shit. Our collective inhumanity has really pushed me to the brink of despair.