Today someone said something about the president, and for a moment I pictured Obama. It was the happiest half a second I’ve had in months. 

Those were the good old days when we thought they were the bad days but they were not. It’s been so long ago I can hardly remember it. What’s it been? 10-12 years?? Only 2 weeks?? Are you fucking kidding me.

Thoughts and Prayers. 

“They make up stories without any proof! How can they do that to the man who single-handedly denuclearized North Korea, brought NATO spending up to 4% and is definitely building a physical wall on the mexican border at this very moment!?”

“Hopwood is the son of Mark Robert Hopwood and Becky Richards who raised him in a Christian home.”

We are truly through the looking glass. These women are complaining to the people they’ve built their lives on oppressing that those they’ve oppressed haven’t welcomed them in a warm enough embrace. With a straight fucking face.

‘So many people at the higher ends of intelligence loved my press conference performance in Helsinki.’

Second one, I still contend that he is far to stupid to know what he is doing.

Listen, “shiny metallic champagne color” was big in the ‘80s. Nothing is new under the sun. Everything old is new again. Lamé was the fabric of choice.

Beware roving gangs of catfish addicted to quack.

How about Hair Force One?

He knows he doesn’t get to take Air Force One with him when he leaves the Presidency, right? 

Yeah, I’m SUPER stoked my tax dollars are being used for this bullshit.

In other words, the Queen took one for the team. I am sure she didn’t want to be around someone like him, so why would anyone else. Also, it just doesn’t look good for the crown. 

A few years ago I fostered some adorable baby rats that were the result of someone accidentally mixing a male in with females that were air shipped from a hoarding case to a local small-animal rescue center. Turns out being shoved into a dark airline hold of a giant metal beast isn’t enough to put rats off the mood.

Eve…

Well he’s giving it to Barron, so he’ll never be within 20ft of it again!

I know it’s been said already but trump is such a staggering idiot. I mean  just unbelievably incredibly, astoundingly dumb.

A report released Friday by the Office of Inspector General for the Department Health and Human Services found that of 21 trips taken by former Secretary Tom Price, 20 did not comply with federal regulations. That’s a 95 percent scam rate. Damn.

Time to fly these over every city in this country.

Wait... all we’ve needed to do to get rid of this the whole time is fly a cartoon blimp?