Wow this is the most tasteless thing i’ve heard in ages and I hope everyone involved shits themselves publicly every day for the rest of their lives.

Thanks for FINALLY covering this. I’m glad our PM is handsome now so the rest of the world actually gives a shit. Also if I see one more person trying to correct the use of the word “aboriginal” in this context, I will lose my shit. Aboriginal is the correct word.

Holy fuck how big is the rock you live under?

No you are hella wrong. The term aboriginal is widely accepted in Canada and refers to First Nations, Inuit and Métis people. This inquiry is in relation to ALL aboriginal groups in Canada, not just First Nations.

I don’t know if this is the weirdest but here’s one I remember off hand: a couple months ago I had a dream I was hooking up with Anders from Workaholics and I was SO STOKED because I have a huge crush on him. We were in a bedroom at some party and I was sucking his dick and then he stopped me and told me I was…

Yeah I can imagine. That kind of stuff would drive me craaaazy.

Omg why would that be more than a like five minute long conversation at most? #whatevercompanyholidayparty2015 or something would be just fine, right?

I’m not even wearing socks because all mine are dirty right now so I need to do laundry and/or receive hella socks as a gift today.

That’s a good point. I have long since given up on matching my socks lmao... I usually just try to group them by similar size/material/texture then choose two that are similar in colour if that option presents itself..

True. And I work at a pretty dirty job that involves spending time outside in all weather, so by mid December I’d be pretty pumped to get a bunch of new comfy socks for work...

I LOVE Amy Poehler’s hair that colour. So cute.

I don’t have a penis but I can imagine that cold, slimy mould making material would make it very difficult to stay aroused. Gross.

Omg god at first I thought this said “I am exhausted and feeling meth” and I was like nooo don’t do meth that’s not the answer oh wait you didn’t say meth never mind

HAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

One of my friends is a wrestler and she’s been obsessed with that thing for years. We used to work at a summer camp together and all the female counsellors shared a big bedroom and we would all make fun of her so hard whenever she used her muscle roller because... I dunno it’s kinda phallic and we were a bunch of 18…

HAH. She’s fantastic.

These are all good points and everything, but if we have sex, you’re buying me breakfast in the morning. At least coffee and a bagel. It’s been a long time since i’ve had a one night stand, but that was the policy.

I dunno, it hurts when you step on them?

It’s always so appropriate when a story about Josh Duggar is filed under “Dirt Bag”.

“What if your mom got an abortion?” “Wel, first of all I wouldn’t be having this dumbass conversation because I wouldn’t exist, soooo...”