Ayn Rand died broke and on government assistance.

"... I did not wait for someone else. I had really two options: one was not to speak and wait to be killed and the second was to speak up and then be killed. I chose the second one."

I'm in love the with cop who wrote his report in all caps. HE THEN SAT HER ON HER ASS AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE.

Yeah, I was going to say that even I knew that and I'm a fucking moron.

Yeah her "sexy" looks are much worse than her weird junior prom/quinceañara looks she used to rock. Also she has one of the most annoying voices I have ever heard!

So this is me looking on the bright side (bear in mind that I suck at positivity), but at least he gave her a pretty legit apology. That counts for something, right?

This mum should take a lesson from the swearing ice bucket kid's family and chill the fuck out.

They probably still have study carols, the original uni nap pods in the library.

If you don't want people to look at pictures of your naked body, maybe you shouldn't have boobs and a vag under your clothes.

Mark "Nightmare Fuel" Shrayber.

I would be the best at this.

Don't message me if...

Nicki Minaj is fucking flawless.

I fucking love Charlize Theron. I hope that story is true.

Or just plant a bunch of poison ivy...

Yes. CGM is the queen of children swearing forever and ever.

New? IDGAF has always been my battle cry.

Or she doesn't want to have sex with him very often because their relationship is shitty, as evidenced by him sending her a stupid passive aggressive email instead of talking about it like adults. A lot of possible explanations, bro.

Chloé Grace Moretz saying "cunt" is pretty much my favourite thing ever. Also The Good Son is the movie that made me extremely, extremely afraid of both Macauley Culkin and Elijah Wood.

Because everything's better in Canada! We also had grilled cheese and ketchup, which were pretty good, and "maple moose", which I never tried, and one other kind that I don't remember. Caesar salad should have been a permanent flavour from the beginning though.